WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SOME THINGS THAT ANY NORMAL PERSON WILL FIND EXTREMELY DISGUSTING
I assure you everything I say in this post is true. Videos have been taken of several of the things but I do not have access to them so I can't upload them to youtube yet.
Anyways the story starts out innocent enough. Over the summer my friends were arguing about who would stay up the latest. My friend Andy told my friend Danny that if Danny stayed up later than him he would buy his $6 ticket to a minor league baseball game. But if Andy stayed up later he would get "pride and glory." When he said that he was kind of just joking since pride and glory sounded cool. It didn't really mean anything besides that he would have the glory of staying up later. Well anyways Andy stayed up later so he got pride and glory, even though it really didn't mean anything at that point.
Well he kept braggin about how he had pride and glory so my friend Stacy gave him a really bad wedgie until he "gave" it to her. At that point Pride and Glory became a tangible thing that could be passes from one person to another. If somebody did something impressive or crazy and the person with Pride and Glory approved the new person would then be in possession of Pride and Glory.
So Andy was pissed that Pride and Glory had gone to Stacy so he wanted it back. To get it back he then ate a giant calous that had fallen off of my friends foot, who had been walking around barefoot all day. That by itself is pretty gross, but its nothing compared to what was to come.
I guess Andy got tired of having it (and more so not being able to "win" it back) because he then gave it up to my friend Brian for eating a bunch of hot peppers and not drinking any water to cool it off for 10 minutes. Someone after that point Pride and Glory really turned into Shame and Embarrassment.
Because to get it back from Brian Andy dumped an ashtray from a bar into a glass of beer and drank it. He drank beer mixed with a bunch of ashes, then swallowed a few random cigarette butts on top of it to seal the deal.
Since that was gross that kind of put Pride and Glory on the backburner for a few weeks. Until my friend David broght a girl he liked around my friends at a bar one night. Andy kept hitting on the girl all night so that pissed David off. So to get back at Andy he decided to win Pride and glory from him, since Andy really cared about having it. So to win it back David goes into the bathroom in the bar (a crappy hole in the wall dive bar) to lick the toilet seat, but Andy said that wasn't good enough. So instead they agree that David has to take a bite out of a urinal cake sitting in the urinal in this dirty bar. So he takes it out and takes a bite, and instantly pukes. Well Andy says that didn't count since he puked, so he picks the urinal cake back up and takes a huge bite and swallows it (and was sick for the whole next day), and wins Pride and Glory.
Well David having Pride and Glory really bothered Andy because he is dumb and cares about stupid stuff like this a lot. So he knew he needed to do something extreme to get it back. So they are sitting at their house and they have a weiner dog. Well the weiner dog took a poop in the house. They agree he has to eat a turd. He takes a bite and starts to throw up, so he stops and chugs a beer, then puts another turd in his mouth and begins to chew it. Well this makes David sick and he begins to puke, and runs upstairs to the bathroom, but doesn't make it really and pukes on the wall. For God knows what reason Andy decides on his own that eating the one turd wasn't enough so he eats another one, but yet that still isn't enough for him, so he walks over to the wall and licks the puke my friend had just puked all over the wall. The whole time Kevin is watching alternating between puking out the window and laughin histarically.
So that is where we are at right now. Andy has Pride and Glory for eating dog poop and licking my friends puke. Hopefully it will stop there. We think the name should be changed from Pride and Glory to Shame and Embarrassment or Stupid and Disgusting.
Yes, the people mentioned in this post are my friends. No, I do not know why.
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Sunday, December 20, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Book Review: Guns of the South by Harry Turtledove
Guns of the South by Harry Turtledove1992
Alternative History
Harry Turtledove is my favorite author, and Guns of the South is probably his most famous novel, but I put off reading it for awhile. Well I finally got around to reading it the other day. Harry Turtledove is most famous for his alternative history writing. Which basically means taking a true historic event and adding in stuff that didn't really happen and then continuing the story. Guns of the South is an example of alternative history fiction.
The plot of the novel is this. Towards the end of the Civil War the South is almost defeated. Then a group of strange men show up with a new repeating rifle they call "an AK-47" and supply the Confederate Army with them. The AK-47 changes the course of the war and the South wins. But where did these strange men get such an incredible gun? Well it turns out they are actually South African white supremacists from 150 years in the future who used a time machine to travel back in time to help the South win so that there will be a country in the world where whites still rule over blacks.
Sure it is a ridiculous concept, but it presents a lot of interesting scenarios. Like even if the South won, how long would they keep slavery going? Or how would people react when they found out that people from the future had come to alter their lives. One of the main characters of the book is Robert E. Lee. I am not sure how accurate portrayal is, but his character in the book is quite a thought provoking individual who I grew to like a great deal.
Overall this was another great work by Harry Turtledove. He presents a crazy scenario, but uses that to tell an interesting story with fully realized characters. I don't think the stuff he writes is for everyone, but if you wanted to read a Harry Turtledove book because you want to know who the hell I am talking about, I would probably recommend Guns of the South first because it is not part of a longer series (like many of his other books), and isn't that long of a book.
3.5 out 5 Stars
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The plot of the novel is this. Towards the end of the Civil War the South is almost defeated. Then a group of strange men show up with a new repeating rifle they call "an AK-47" and supply the Confederate Army with them. The AK-47 changes the course of the war and the South wins. But where did these strange men get such an incredible gun? Well it turns out they are actually South African white supremacists from 150 years in the future who used a time machine to travel back in time to help the South win so that there will be a country in the world where whites still rule over blacks.
Sure it is a ridiculous concept, but it presents a lot of interesting scenarios. Like even if the South won, how long would they keep slavery going? Or how would people react when they found out that people from the future had come to alter their lives. One of the main characters of the book is Robert E. Lee. I am not sure how accurate portrayal is, but his character in the book is quite a thought provoking individual who I grew to like a great deal.
Overall this was another great work by Harry Turtledove. He presents a crazy scenario, but uses that to tell an interesting story with fully realized characters. I don't think the stuff he writes is for everyone, but if you wanted to read a Harry Turtledove book because you want to know who the hell I am talking about, I would probably recommend Guns of the South first because it is not part of a longer series (like many of his other books), and isn't that long of a book.
3.5 out 5 Stars
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Saturday, December 5, 2009
Bill's Pizza Kitchen
I will openly admit that I am a huge cheap ass. I try to spend as little as possible every chance I can. Now that I no longer live with my parents and pay for everything myself this has taken my cheapness to new heights. One area where I save the most money is food. I don't eat much as it is but what I do eat doesn't cost much. One thing we splurged on a few times was pizza. There is a place near us that sells a extra large pizza for only $6 during the week. That is a good deal, but not good enough for me. So I decided we should make our own pizza. This may just be the best idea I ever had, because we did it, and it turned out good, really good. For the crust we used Kroger brand "Just Add Water" pizza dough mix. Sauce we just used Kroger brand pizza sauce, the cheese was Kroger brand pizza cheese, and the pepperonis were obviously Kroger brand as well. The best part is that is only costs like $2 to make a big pizza. It really wasn't too hard to make. But a tip, make sure to put some oil on the dough after you mix it and on your hands when you shape it in the pan or else it will stick to your hands like crazy. Here is a picture of our first attempt.
If it looks a little orange thats mainly due to the ligthing in our kitchen as well as my cameraphone, well that and it all the pepperoni make it a bit greasy. But that was only our first attempt and I think it looks really good considering. And more importantly it also tasted very good. After that we got confident and the ideas starting flooding in, different toppings etc. So we decided to make our own stuffed crust pizza. We doubled the dough to have enough for a crust to wrap around the cheese. And for the cheese in the crust we just put mozarella cheese sticks in it. We also opted to put the toppings below the cheese. Here is a picture of that.
To be honest, it didn't work that well. I still tasted good, but the stuffed crust was a total failure, you couldn't taste the cheese in it and it was dry. Live and learn. We also used our pizza pan this time, which has holes in the bottom to make it crispier, but the dough also started to go through those holes when forming it, so its tricky business.
I think we are just gonna do another round of pepperoni before trying something different, but I think the next specialty pizza well be a barbecue chicken. If you have never made your own pizza before, give it a try. Its easy to do, and even if you screw it up, it will only cost you a few dollars and 25 minutes.
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If it looks a little orange thats mainly due to the ligthing in our kitchen as well as my cameraphone, well that and it all the pepperoni make it a bit greasy. But that was only our first attempt and I think it looks really good considering. And more importantly it also tasted very good. After that we got confident and the ideas starting flooding in, different toppings etc. So we decided to make our own stuffed crust pizza. We doubled the dough to have enough for a crust to wrap around the cheese. And for the cheese in the crust we just put mozarella cheese sticks in it. We also opted to put the toppings below the cheese. Here is a picture of that.
To be honest, it didn't work that well. I still tasted good, but the stuffed crust was a total failure, you couldn't taste the cheese in it and it was dry. Live and learn. We also used our pizza pan this time, which has holes in the bottom to make it crispier, but the dough also started to go through those holes when forming it, so its tricky business.I think we are just gonna do another round of pepperoni before trying something different, but I think the next specialty pizza well be a barbecue chicken. If you have never made your own pizza before, give it a try. Its easy to do, and even if you screw it up, it will only cost you a few dollars and 25 minutes.
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra
2009
Action
Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Channing Tatum, and a Wayans brother
I will let you all in on some personal information. GI Joe was by far my favorite show growing up as a kid. I went as GI Joe at least 3 years for Halloween. I loved the toys as well. My mom still has the info cards (back of the package of the action figures, gave their bio) from every figurine I ever had. In fact GI Joe holds the distinction of being the greatest Christmas toy I ever received, the mobil command center pictured below. It was so badass.
As nostalgic as the phrase "GI Joe" makes me feel I am able to seperate the cartoon, the toys, and Rise of Cobra the new live action movie. I did not expect the movie to capture my childhood.For some reason I went into GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra with kind of high expectations. I didn't necessarily expect it to be a good movie, but I expected it to be a summer popcorn flick that overall would just be stupid but a lot of fun to watch. I feel like my expectations were about 75% right. There are parts of it that are a lot of fun, but most of the time it is just stupid. The action for the most part looks good (some shoddy CG work, but it fit the overtop mood of the scenes). The whole scene involving the Eiffel Tower was top notch in my opinion, other than the stupid "accelerator suits."
A few high points of the movie were Snake Eyes and Joseph Gordon Levitt. Snake Eyes was always the coolest Joe member (I almost bought a Snake Eyes backpack a few months ago) and they did a great job of showing that in the movie. Snake Eyes is badass. JGL plays Cobra Commander, though this is Rise of Cobra, he doesn't really become Cobra Commander until the end. But even before then he does a great job with the limited material he is given. He was the best possible thing next to getting this Cobra Commander to be in the movie...and thats unlikely.
To my surpsrise Sienna Miller is much hotter as a brunette than a blonde, well at least she was in this movie. But that could be because of the tight leather outfit she was wearing most of the time.
One minor problem with the movie from a storytelling perspective is that all the "good" characters are extremely boring, poorly acted, and for the most part have no character development at all, while all "bad" are interesting, and well acted. This is a minor problem because I assume the director made the movie so people would like the good guys more and cheer them on, but that didn't happen to me. After about 30 minutes I was openly rooting for Cobra to win. I mean half of the main Joe team featured in the movie have absolutely zero character development, there is the Moroccan guy with a French accent, the big buff black British dude, and the redheaded chick who is smart. That is basically everything you find out about 3 of the main good guys. While on the other hand all the bad buys have fleshed out back stories explaining how they came to be, as well as scenes explaining their actions and motives for the things being done in the movie.Duke (played by Channing Tatum) is basically the main character of the movie, so you are suppose to root for him. There is just one problem with that, he is a huge tool that basically deserves all the bad stuff that happens to him. It is revealed early on that the main villainess, Anna, is actually his ex fiance, and that Duke served in the Army with Anna's brother Rex. Duke proposed to Anna right before they are deployed, and she makes Duke promise that he will protect her brother and bring him home safe. Of course on their mission Rex goes into a house that is bombed. When they return home Anna is of course devastated that her brother died, so how does Duke console her? He doesn't, he just ignores entirely. Anna is there at Rex's funeral and all Duke does is drive by on his Harley, take off his sunglasses, then drives away. Why in the hell should I want a character like that to find happiness again with a lost love who he completely abandoned when she needed him most? Oh later in the movie he says "I am sorry about that" which really doesn't seem good enough to me. Duke is a douche, that's all there is to it.
This is a movie you could watch with a few friends and have a blast by just pointing out flaws or making jokes about it. But this is not because it is a "so bad its good" kind of movie. Its just because some of the stuff that goes on in it is kind of stupid, and ridiculous, but I feel like the filmmakers knew that most of the time. I would say that if you have any desire at all to see this movie, rent it, if you have no interest to see it, just skip it, you won't be missing out on too much. I am not sure if Rise of Cobra made enough money to warrant a sequel, but if it did, and they get the right writer and director it could be pretty kickass.
3 out of 5 Stars
PS - There is a scene with the President in a bunker where some guy (they never show his face) jumps out and the President says "oh thats what he has planned" and thats it. Does anyone know what the hell is going on in that scene, because it is not explained or clarified at all and its annoying me. So if you know what that scene is about let me know.
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Monday, November 30, 2009
Star Trek (2009)
2009
Sci-Fi/Action
Sci-Fi/Action
Before I even start talking about the movie I should state a disclaimer. I am a huge JJ Abrams fanboy. I fully enjoyed Cloverfield. I love Lost. I really love Fringe. So it is really not too shocking that I liked this JJ Abrams directed reboot of the Star Trek franchise.
Other than a few of the movies (VI and the one with the whales) I have never watched Star Trek before. Though since I am a nerd I was somewhat familiar with the characters and premise. So I guess this movie was aimed towards people like me since this is basically a prequel and tells how the crew of the Enterprise came to be. This movie was made for people who know nothing about Star Trek, you can come in with no prior knowledge at all and still know whats going on and have a good time.
I won't delve too much into the plot, but it basically deals with how all the characters found their way to the Enterprise and became the characters they came to be later in the series. The plot has a lot to do with time travel which is normally a pet peeve for me, but if you don't worry about time paradoxes and just enjoy the ride, it works just fine. One thing I am thankful for was that there wasn't any forced love storyline. There is a love storyline but it is not forced down your throat, it seems natural, and doesn't take up too much of the run time.
One of the high points of the movie was the cast. Some new faces, and some old, but all did a great job. There was a lot of praise for Chris Pine playing Kirk and I can agree he did a great job. He wasn't just doing a William Shatner impression which was nice, he was doing his own version of Kirk, cocky, yet with the smarts and wits to back it up. The guy from Hereos who plays Spock did a great job as well, because he is not the older Spock (Leonard Nimoy) who we meet up with in the movie (I told you there was time travel), he hasn't evolved into that Spock yet. Eric Bana, is great, and unrecognizable, as the bad guy Nero. I can also officially say that Star Trek is my new favorite Tyler Perry movie. Overall, my favorite character, the little alien helper with Simon Pegg on the ice planet, he needed more screen time.
The action in Star Trek is all well shot. There is not a ton of action in the movie, but when it arrives it is coming at such a break neck pace that you can't take your eyes off the screen. I sort of wish I would have seen it in the theatre or on Blu Ray because visually it is a pretty stunning movie to watch.
You should watch Star Trek. Don't let the idea of "trekkies" distract you. There is nothing nerdy or dorky about this movie. It is a fresh and exciting reboot of the Star Trek franchise that is a lot of fun. I am sure there will be plent of sequels for this movie to come, and I am excited to see them because JJ Abrams has established a great foundation to build the story upon.
4 out of 5 Stars
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Other than a few of the movies (VI and the one with the whales) I have never watched Star Trek before. Though since I am a nerd I was somewhat familiar with the characters and premise. So I guess this movie was aimed towards people like me since this is basically a prequel and tells how the crew of the Enterprise came to be. This movie was made for people who know nothing about Star Trek, you can come in with no prior knowledge at all and still know whats going on and have a good time.
I won't delve too much into the plot, but it basically deals with how all the characters found their way to the Enterprise and became the characters they came to be later in the series. The plot has a lot to do with time travel which is normally a pet peeve for me, but if you don't worry about time paradoxes and just enjoy the ride, it works just fine. One thing I am thankful for was that there wasn't any forced love storyline. There is a love storyline but it is not forced down your throat, it seems natural, and doesn't take up too much of the run time.
One of the high points of the movie was the cast. Some new faces, and some old, but all did a great job. There was a lot of praise for Chris Pine playing Kirk and I can agree he did a great job. He wasn't just doing a William Shatner impression which was nice, he was doing his own version of Kirk, cocky, yet with the smarts and wits to back it up. The guy from Hereos who plays Spock did a great job as well, because he is not the older Spock (Leonard Nimoy) who we meet up with in the movie (I told you there was time travel), he hasn't evolved into that Spock yet. Eric Bana, is great, and unrecognizable, as the bad guy Nero. I can also officially say that Star Trek is my new favorite Tyler Perry movie. Overall, my favorite character, the little alien helper with Simon Pegg on the ice planet, he needed more screen time.
The action in Star Trek is all well shot. There is not a ton of action in the movie, but when it arrives it is coming at such a break neck pace that you can't take your eyes off the screen. I sort of wish I would have seen it in the theatre or on Blu Ray because visually it is a pretty stunning movie to watch.
You should watch Star Trek. Don't let the idea of "trekkies" distract you. There is nothing nerdy or dorky about this movie. It is a fresh and exciting reboot of the Star Trek franchise that is a lot of fun. I am sure there will be plent of sequels for this movie to come, and I am excited to see them because JJ Abrams has established a great foundation to build the story upon.
4 out of 5 Stars
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
Hey there kids
It is weird. I have had more free time in the past 2 months than I have had in several years, yet I seem to accomplish for less. I haven't been reading that much. I haven't really watched too many movies. And even though I have a lot of free time, I haven't posted anything on this blog in about 2 months. Well I plan to change that over the next few days, so check back because I hopefully will have gotten my mind working a little bit and got to typing about everything.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
My Book Ratings Spreadsheet
For the past couple years I have kept a spreadsheet of every book I read. Its nothing fancy, just the auther, title, and what I rate the book. However for the few people who read this I thought you might be interested in what I like to read. This does not cover comic books.
Author | Title | Rating/5 | |
Atwood, Margaret | Oryx and Crake | 4 | |
Brackett, Leigh | The Long Tomorrow | 3 | |
Brooks, Max | World War Z | 3.5 | |
Capote, Truman | In Cold Blood | 3.5 | |
Carlson, Jeff | Plague Year | 3 | |
Cerasini, Marc | 24: Operation Hell Gate | 3 | |
Frank, Pat | Alas, Babylon | 4 | |
Gaiman, Neil | American Gods | 2.5 | |
Heinlein, Robert | Stranger in a Strange Land | 1.5 | |
Heinlein, Robert | Podkayne of Mars | 3 | |
Heinlein, Robert | Starship Troopers | 3.5 | |
King, Stephen | Cell | 2.5 | |
King, Stephen | The Stand | 4.5 | |
Laimo, Michael | Dead Souls | 2.5 | |
Lewis, C.S. | Out of the Silent Planet | 3.5 | |
Lewis, C.S. | Perelandrea | 5 | |
Matheson, Richard | I Am Legend | 3 | |
McCarthy, Cormac | Outer Dark | 2.5 | |
McCarthy, Cormac | Blood Meridian | 3.5 | |
McCarthy, Cormac | Child of God | 3.5 | |
McCarthy, Cormac | The Road | 5 | |
Miller, Walter | A Canticle for Leibowitz | 2 | |
Niven, Larry (Jerry Pournelle) | Lucifer's Hammer | 4 | |
Simmons, Dan | The Terror | 3.5 | |
Stewart, George R. | Earth Abides | 3 | |
Stirling, S.M. | A Meeting at Corvallis | 3 | |
Stirling, S.M. | The Protectors's War | 3 | |
Stirling, S.M. | The Sunrise Lands | 3 | |
Stirling, S.M. | Dies the Fire | 4 | |
Stirling, S.M. | The Scourge of God | 3 | |
Stirling, S.M. | Island in the Sea of Time | 3 | |
Stirling, S.M. | Against the Tide of Years | 3.5 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Worldwar: In The Balance | 4 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Worldwar: Tilting the Balance | 3.5 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Worldwar: Striking the Balance | 3 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Worldwar: Upsetting the Balance | 3 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Colonization: Second Contact | 3.5 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Colonization: Aftershocks | 3 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Colonization: Down to Earth | 3 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Homeward Bound | 3 | |
Turtledove, Harry | Days of Infamy | 3 | |
Turtledove, Harry | End of the Beginning | 3.5 | |
Varley, John | Titan | 3 | |
Wilde, Oscar | Picture of Dorian Gray | 4 | |
Wyndham, John | Re-Birth (The Crysalids) | 3 | |
Wyndham, John | Day of the Triffids | 3.5 | |
Wyndham, John | The Kraken Wakes | 3.5 | |
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Eden Lake (2008)
2008
Horror/Thriller
Lets just cut to the chase on this one, fuck this movie. It is negative and hate filled, while at the same time being not interesting. I am always looking for new horror movies to see, and people kept telling me to see this one, I wish they wouldn't have. Below will be a synopsis of the plot with spoiler, which I hope you read so you won't accidentally see this movie.
A guy and his girlfriend go camping in the English countryside. While at a remote lake they run into a gang of troublemaking teens (which is a common theme in many English movies for some reason). The teens keep messing with the pair until they eventually steal their car. When they catch the kids the guy accidentally kills one of the kids dogs while taking the kids knife away, which the kid then blames on the guy. The kids begin to chase and terrorize the couple through the woods. They eventually capture and torture the guy until he dies. Then they chase to woman. To bring her out of hiding they light an innocent kid who just happened to be there on fire and burn him to death. The woman kills a couple of the kids before getting out of the forest. She escapes to a house down the street and tells the people what happened and to call for help. But in the least shocking twist ever, they are actually the kids families, and when the kids come back to the house the kids dads butcher the innocent woman in the bathroom with a razor. The movie ends with the main kid (who was the leader) putting on a pair of sunglasses he stole from the guy and then making some "badass" poses in a mirror.
There may have been a time when the un-hollywood ending (like having the bad guys win) was actually interesting and not expected, but that time is long gone. At least most movies where the bad guy wins have the decency to actually have the bad guy be interesting or something. I bet the creatores of Eden Lake thought there plot/ending was "cool" or "badass" when in reality it was one of the most predictable things ever and basically made the whole movie uninteresting. I mean about 20 minutes into it I said "I bet they get away from the kids and get help but end up going to the kids families house and still dying." Was there anybody who saw this movie and didn't see that coming?
I mean they had a chance to have some payoff in some revenge killings but chose not to for whatever reason. I don't know about anybody else but I was just super annoyed the kids the whole time. They had no character development and there was no reason to take any interest in them at all. Whch only made me dislike the movie more since they were the only characters left in the end.
How exactly is the end of the movie suppose to make the viewing experience more enjoyable? What exactly is the viewere suppose to take from watching this crap? What exactly is interesting about having an innocent woman slaughtered by a group of men in a bathroom? Or having a kid burned to death?
Oh but wait the lead bad guy got away with it and then put on some sugnlasses and made some badass poses in the mirror, thats cool, right?
The review on poster actually calls this movie "provocative." I would like to know what that guy was smoking. There is nothing provocative or thought provoking in this whole movie. I have also heard some people commend this movie for being realistic, which could not be further from the truth. There is nothing about this movie that operates with a sense of realism or authenticity.
I avoided this movie for awhile because I was afraid it was going to be exactly what it was, but people kept telling me it was good so I decided to watch it. I wish I would have listened to my gut feeling on this one. I take some solace in thinking that there is no way the kids would actually get away with the crimes (too much evidence, not all the witnesses were the kids direct families, etc.) but by doing that I actually put more thought and care into the story than the actual creators did.
Avoid this detestable piece of garbage at all costs.
1 out of 5 Stars (since I don't give out zeros)
A guy and his girlfriend go camping in the English countryside. While at a remote lake they run into a gang of troublemaking teens (which is a common theme in many English movies for some reason). The teens keep messing with the pair until they eventually steal their car. When they catch the kids the guy accidentally kills one of the kids dogs while taking the kids knife away, which the kid then blames on the guy. The kids begin to chase and terrorize the couple through the woods. They eventually capture and torture the guy until he dies. Then they chase to woman. To bring her out of hiding they light an innocent kid who just happened to be there on fire and burn him to death. The woman kills a couple of the kids before getting out of the forest. She escapes to a house down the street and tells the people what happened and to call for help. But in the least shocking twist ever, they are actually the kids families, and when the kids come back to the house the kids dads butcher the innocent woman in the bathroom with a razor. The movie ends with the main kid (who was the leader) putting on a pair of sunglasses he stole from the guy and then making some "badass" poses in a mirror.
There may have been a time when the un-hollywood ending (like having the bad guys win) was actually interesting and not expected, but that time is long gone. At least most movies where the bad guy wins have the decency to actually have the bad guy be interesting or something. I bet the creatores of Eden Lake thought there plot/ending was "cool" or "badass" when in reality it was one of the most predictable things ever and basically made the whole movie uninteresting. I mean about 20 minutes into it I said "I bet they get away from the kids and get help but end up going to the kids families house and still dying." Was there anybody who saw this movie and didn't see that coming?
I mean they had a chance to have some payoff in some revenge killings but chose not to for whatever reason. I don't know about anybody else but I was just super annoyed the kids the whole time. They had no character development and there was no reason to take any interest in them at all. Whch only made me dislike the movie more since they were the only characters left in the end.
How exactly is the end of the movie suppose to make the viewing experience more enjoyable? What exactly is the viewere suppose to take from watching this crap? What exactly is interesting about having an innocent woman slaughtered by a group of men in a bathroom? Or having a kid burned to death?
Oh but wait the lead bad guy got away with it and then put on some sugnlasses and made some badass poses in the mirror, thats cool, right?
The review on poster actually calls this movie "provocative." I would like to know what that guy was smoking. There is nothing provocative or thought provoking in this whole movie. I have also heard some people commend this movie for being realistic, which could not be further from the truth. There is nothing about this movie that operates with a sense of realism or authenticity.
I avoided this movie for awhile because I was afraid it was going to be exactly what it was, but people kept telling me it was good so I decided to watch it. I wish I would have listened to my gut feeling on this one. I take some solace in thinking that there is no way the kids would actually get away with the crimes (too much evidence, not all the witnesses were the kids direct families, etc.) but by doing that I actually put more thought and care into the story than the actual creators did.
Avoid this detestable piece of garbage at all costs.
1 out of 5 Stars (since I don't give out zeros)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The Uninvited (2009)
2009Horror
Allow me to summarize my feeling for this movie in 4 words: stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
This review will contain SPOILES so be warned if you planned on wasting 90 minutes of your time with this movie.
The plot is this. Committed to a mental hospital after her mother's tragic death, grieving teenager Anna discovers upon her release that her father plans to marry his deceased wife's former nurse , a woman who might not have the best intentions. In fact her and her sister begin to think the woman actually killed their mother. So for the first 80 minutes of the movie you follow the sisters around as the piece together the clues as to what happened to their mother and being to discover how evil and murderous their new step mom is. At that point it is pretty formulaic but is entertaining. But in the last 10 minutes there is a plot twist, a plot twist that was really stupid and made me hate the movie. Right as the climax happens, which is the step mom trying to kill Anna but her sister stopping the step mom and actually killing her because no one would believe that she was evil, the plot twist happens. It turns out that Anna's sister has been dead the whole time, she was killed in the accident that killed their mother. And it turns out it wasn't the evil step mom who killed their mother it was all Anna's fault. Then through a 10 second series of flashbacks you see that basically everything you watched for the first 80 minutes never actually happened. Everything in the movie was an illusion inside of Anna's mind and nothing you saw happen was actually real. So like the good characters you grew to like and the bad characters you hated, neither were actually like that because nothing they showed actually happened. So stupid, and a waste of my time.
I had a whole bunch of complaints about this movie before the twist, but since the twist basically erases everything that happens prior there is really no need to complain about them. One thing I will complain about is Anna sees visions of like creepy dead looking children all movie, telling her the step mom is evil, but those kids have absolutely nothing to do with anything in the plot. There are no children killed before or after the twist. They basically put them in the movie to make it more creepy and have them jump out for cheap scares, which is so lame. "OMG the creepy ghost girl dropped a glass of milke and it turned to blood!!!! OMG so scary!!!" Oh wait, it has nothing to do with anything and is fucking pointless.
I will give the movie some credit for a few things. All the actors did a pretty good job. The movie also looked nice, not relying on too many effects. And Emma Browning who plays Anna is pretty cute, she looks really young but is actually 20 so it is not creepy for me to say that. She looked really cute in Lemony Snicket's too (never saw that movie, just from the trailers) she was 15 then so it might be creepy for me to say she was cute in that.
If you want to waste your time on a movie that exists solely to waste your time, and have what you watched be made pointless by a stupid plot twist, be my guest. But when it comes to horror movies or movies with plot twists, there are about a thousand ones better than The Uninvited.
2 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: This is a remake of the Korean movie The Tale of Two Sisters. That movie was pretty critically acclaimed, but if it is similar to The Univited I am starting to wonder why.
This review will contain SPOILES so be warned if you planned on wasting 90 minutes of your time with this movie.
The plot is this. Committed to a mental hospital after her mother's tragic death, grieving teenager Anna discovers upon her release that her father plans to marry his deceased wife's former nurse , a woman who might not have the best intentions. In fact her and her sister begin to think the woman actually killed their mother. So for the first 80 minutes of the movie you follow the sisters around as the piece together the clues as to what happened to their mother and being to discover how evil and murderous their new step mom is. At that point it is pretty formulaic but is entertaining. But in the last 10 minutes there is a plot twist, a plot twist that was really stupid and made me hate the movie. Right as the climax happens, which is the step mom trying to kill Anna but her sister stopping the step mom and actually killing her because no one would believe that she was evil, the plot twist happens. It turns out that Anna's sister has been dead the whole time, she was killed in the accident that killed their mother. And it turns out it wasn't the evil step mom who killed their mother it was all Anna's fault. Then through a 10 second series of flashbacks you see that basically everything you watched for the first 80 minutes never actually happened. Everything in the movie was an illusion inside of Anna's mind and nothing you saw happen was actually real. So like the good characters you grew to like and the bad characters you hated, neither were actually like that because nothing they showed actually happened. So stupid, and a waste of my time.
I had a whole bunch of complaints about this movie before the twist, but since the twist basically erases everything that happens prior there is really no need to complain about them. One thing I will complain about is Anna sees visions of like creepy dead looking children all movie, telling her the step mom is evil, but those kids have absolutely nothing to do with anything in the plot. There are no children killed before or after the twist. They basically put them in the movie to make it more creepy and have them jump out for cheap scares, which is so lame. "OMG the creepy ghost girl dropped a glass of milke and it turned to blood!!!! OMG so scary!!!" Oh wait, it has nothing to do with anything and is fucking pointless.
I will give the movie some credit for a few things. All the actors did a pretty good job. The movie also looked nice, not relying on too many effects. And Emma Browning who plays Anna is pretty cute, she looks really young but is actually 20 so it is not creepy for me to say that. She looked really cute in Lemony Snicket's too (never saw that movie, just from the trailers) she was 15 then so it might be creepy for me to say she was cute in that.
If you want to waste your time on a movie that exists solely to waste your time, and have what you watched be made pointless by a stupid plot twist, be my guest. But when it comes to horror movies or movies with plot twists, there are about a thousand ones better than The Uninvited.
2 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: This is a remake of the Korean movie The Tale of Two Sisters. That movie was pretty critically acclaimed, but if it is similar to The Univited I am starting to wonder why.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Quick Hits 9/3
I watch way more movies than I fully review on this blog. Mostly it is because I don't feel like typing out a full entry every day, and most of the time I forget what I want to say about it by time I am on the computer again. So a new concept, just give a really short run down of some of my recent viewings, similar to the reviews available from users on Netflix.
When Harry Met Sally
1989 - Romantic Comedy - Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan
This is one of the most famous romantic comedies, but I really didn't find it that funny. There are a few cute moments that put a smile on your face but I wasn't cracking up. That doesn't mean I didn't like it. It is a very well put together movie asking the question "Can men and woman be just friends?" Of course it doesn't answer the question but it shows how the two main characters deal with it. Meg Ryan is totally adorable in this movie and I can see why she became a big star after this. When it comes to romantic comedies you could do a lot worse than this one.
3 out of 5 Stars
In the Heat of the Night
1967 - Crime Drama - Sidney Portier, Rod Steiger
A classic movie right here, winners of several Oscars including Best Picture. When a murder happens in a small southern town they arrest the first black guy they see, but he turns out to be a homicide detective from Philly. So the racists sheriff is forced to put aside his prejudice and work with the detective to solve the crime. This movie is 42 years old and puts basically everyhting put out today to shame. The scenes between Portier (the black detective) and Steiger (the racist sheriff) are fantastic. You can really tell how much it bothers this racist white sheriff to know that a black guy is so much better at his job than he is. In addition to the acting the investigation into the actual crime is fascinating and keeps you on your seat until the very end.
4 out of 5 Stars
Judge Dredd
1995 - Sci Fi Action - Syllvester Stallone
Here is a movie based on a comic book that was made before that became a huge fad in Hollywood. Which is odd because Judge Dredd is by any standards a very obscure comic. There were a lot of movies made in the 90s that were hollow action flicks, Judge Dredd is one of them, but it is a pretty fun example. It is the kind of thing you could watch over and over again when you want to see some mindless action and explosions. What impressed me most was how good the special effects looked. There are very few effects scenes that looked dated. My big gripe with the movie is a lot of the characters, and a lot of Stallone's dialogue, were made to be overly cheesy. If they would have had it be more realistic with fewer lame one liners it would have been a better flick. If you want to turn off your brain and relive some 90s action fun check it out and watch Stallone and Rob Schneider take care of the bad guys.
3 out of 5 Stars
When Harry Met Sally
1989 - Romantic Comedy - Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan
This is one of the most famous romantic comedies, but I really didn't find it that funny. There are a few cute moments that put a smile on your face but I wasn't cracking up. That doesn't mean I didn't like it. It is a very well put together movie asking the question "Can men and woman be just friends?" Of course it doesn't answer the question but it shows how the two main characters deal with it. Meg Ryan is totally adorable in this movie and I can see why she became a big star after this. When it comes to romantic comedies you could do a lot worse than this one.
3 out of 5 Stars
In the Heat of the Night
1967 - Crime Drama - Sidney Portier, Rod Steiger
A classic movie right here, winners of several Oscars including Best Picture. When a murder happens in a small southern town they arrest the first black guy they see, but he turns out to be a homicide detective from Philly. So the racists sheriff is forced to put aside his prejudice and work with the detective to solve the crime. This movie is 42 years old and puts basically everyhting put out today to shame. The scenes between Portier (the black detective) and Steiger (the racist sheriff) are fantastic. You can really tell how much it bothers this racist white sheriff to know that a black guy is so much better at his job than he is. In addition to the acting the investigation into the actual crime is fascinating and keeps you on your seat until the very end.
4 out of 5 Stars
Judge Dredd
1995 - Sci Fi Action - Syllvester Stallone
Here is a movie based on a comic book that was made before that became a huge fad in Hollywood. Which is odd because Judge Dredd is by any standards a very obscure comic. There were a lot of movies made in the 90s that were hollow action flicks, Judge Dredd is one of them, but it is a pretty fun example. It is the kind of thing you could watch over and over again when you want to see some mindless action and explosions. What impressed me most was how good the special effects looked. There are very few effects scenes that looked dated. My big gripe with the movie is a lot of the characters, and a lot of Stallone's dialogue, were made to be overly cheesy. If they would have had it be more realistic with fewer lame one liners it would have been a better flick. If you want to turn off your brain and relive some 90s action fun check it out and watch Stallone and Rob Schneider take care of the bad guys.
3 out of 5 Stars
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Adventureland (2009)
2009Comedy/Drama
Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart
Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart
Before we go any further I just want to cut to the chase and say I freaking loved this movie. I haven't seen a movie I liked this much in a very long time, basically since I first saw Say Anything, and will probably have to wait a long time for it to happen again. I am giving it 5 ouf of 5 stars. I will try to explain why I liked it so much, but it will be hard, because if you are not me, you probably won't like it as much.
Jesse Eisenberg plays James who in order to make money for grad school is forced to work at the local amusement park, Adventureland. While there he begins to make new friends and connections and begins to form a relationship with Kristen Stewart's character Em. There is more to it to that (Em has a secret she is keeping from James, etc.) but that is all you really need to know.
The main reason I loved this movie so much is because of how much I connected with the main character. He thinks about stuff the way I think about stuff, he reacts how I would reacts. There are situations where he handles things almost exactly how I would handle them. Like when Em is coming onto him and he tries to play it cool but still comes off awkward and slightly out of place. Scenes like that rang so true. It is nice to see a "coming of age movie" where the character is technically an adult and not concerned with high school cliches like prom or getting into college. James is a virgin and much more interested in finding love and an emotional connection than he is in just getting laid. This type of male character is almost always ignored in favor of the "just trying to get some" mantra from other movies (American Pie).
I have never really seen a movie with Kristen Stewart in it so it was a nice suprise that she was so good in this role. I started to fall in love her just the way James did, and much the same way I did with the love interests in ...Say Anything and Garden State.
This is the second movied directed by Greg Mottola. The other movie is Superbad, which is my all time favorite movie. So he has directed 2 movies so far, and I love both of them. There is nothing impressive or fancy in his directing but he knows how to inject genuine feeling into all scenese. Out of nowhere he has become of my favorite directors. I just hope he keep directing the same kind of movies, because he does it so well. Unlike with Superbad, he also wrote Adventureland based on experiences from his own life. When it first came out people criticized it because it was advertised as a comedy, but wasn't as overall funny as Superbad. I agree that it is not as funny as Superbad, but it still has plenty of laughs. Scenese like when James and Em discuss their history with "intercourse" are hilarious both for their awkwardness and their truth. Martin Starr (of Freaks and Geeks, and Knocked Up) is one of the main sources of comedy. He manages to funny while at the same time being realistic and sympathetic. There is another character, Frigo, who exists solely for comedic relief and that is okay because it does not distract from the realism of the movie at all. Because some people have friends who always hit you in the junk because they think it's funny. Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig are funny in small roles as the managers of Adventureland. They have some funny lines, Bill has an awesome mustache and Kristen somehow manages to not annoy me as normal.
I even liked the soundtrack of this movie. Which is impressive considering I don't really like the kind of music featured in it, which is basically mid 80s indie rock. Yet here I am a day later listening to Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground songs from the soundtrack. This movie is set in the late 80s and the music does the best job of capturing that mood without relating to overdone "in the 80s they did this stupid thing" jokes movies like The Wedding Singer were based around. Many of the characters wear stereotypical 80s clothing but they don't look stupid. They just look like they lived in the 80s, which they are.
I could keep rambling on about this movie, adding more stuff to this post, but I think I will stop now. Just rent it already to discover everything it has to offer. I, as already previously stated, loved Adventureland. After only watching it once I know I will consider it a favorite for a long time to come. It captured the essence of Say Anything, presenting what it is like to be nice guy looking to fall in love and wondering how to explore life. Others probably won't enjoy it as much as me, and that is okay.
Excuse me, for I am now off to find an Adventureland "Games" t shirt to purchase.
5 Out Of 5 Stars
Jesse Eisenberg plays James who in order to make money for grad school is forced to work at the local amusement park, Adventureland. While there he begins to make new friends and connections and begins to form a relationship with Kristen Stewart's character Em. There is more to it to that (Em has a secret she is keeping from James, etc.) but that is all you really need to know.
The main reason I loved this movie so much is because of how much I connected with the main character. He thinks about stuff the way I think about stuff, he reacts how I would reacts. There are situations where he handles things almost exactly how I would handle them. Like when Em is coming onto him and he tries to play it cool but still comes off awkward and slightly out of place. Scenes like that rang so true. It is nice to see a "coming of age movie" where the character is technically an adult and not concerned with high school cliches like prom or getting into college. James is a virgin and much more interested in finding love and an emotional connection than he is in just getting laid. This type of male character is almost always ignored in favor of the "just trying to get some" mantra from other movies (American Pie).
I have never really seen a movie with Kristen Stewart in it so it was a nice suprise that she was so good in this role. I started to fall in love her just the way James did, and much the same way I did with the love interests in ...Say Anything and Garden State.
This is the second movied directed by Greg Mottola. The other movie is Superbad, which is my all time favorite movie. So he has directed 2 movies so far, and I love both of them. There is nothing impressive or fancy in his directing but he knows how to inject genuine feeling into all scenese. Out of nowhere he has become of my favorite directors. I just hope he keep directing the same kind of movies, because he does it so well. Unlike with Superbad, he also wrote Adventureland based on experiences from his own life. When it first came out people criticized it because it was advertised as a comedy, but wasn't as overall funny as Superbad. I agree that it is not as funny as Superbad, but it still has plenty of laughs. Scenese like when James and Em discuss their history with "intercourse" are hilarious both for their awkwardness and their truth. Martin Starr (of Freaks and Geeks, and Knocked Up) is one of the main sources of comedy. He manages to funny while at the same time being realistic and sympathetic. There is another character, Frigo, who exists solely for comedic relief and that is okay because it does not distract from the realism of the movie at all. Because some people have friends who always hit you in the junk because they think it's funny. Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig are funny in small roles as the managers of Adventureland. They have some funny lines, Bill has an awesome mustache and Kristen somehow manages to not annoy me as normal.
I even liked the soundtrack of this movie. Which is impressive considering I don't really like the kind of music featured in it, which is basically mid 80s indie rock. Yet here I am a day later listening to Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground songs from the soundtrack. This movie is set in the late 80s and the music does the best job of capturing that mood without relating to overdone "in the 80s they did this stupid thing" jokes movies like The Wedding Singer were based around. Many of the characters wear stereotypical 80s clothing but they don't look stupid. They just look like they lived in the 80s, which they are.
I could keep rambling on about this movie, adding more stuff to this post, but I think I will stop now. Just rent it already to discover everything it has to offer. I, as already previously stated, loved Adventureland. After only watching it once I know I will consider it a favorite for a long time to come. It captured the essence of Say Anything, presenting what it is like to be nice guy looking to fall in love and wondering how to explore life. Others probably won't enjoy it as much as me, and that is okay.
Excuse me, for I am now off to find an Adventureland "Games" t shirt to purchase.
5 Out Of 5 Stars
Monday, August 24, 2009
District 9 (2009
2009Sci Fi
"There are a lot of secrets in District 9."
Hey look I finally went and saw a movie in a theatre and not on DVD!
District 9 is one of the most talked about fims of the summer. It has also gotten near all positive reviews. And all that adoration is well deserved. This is a fantastic sci fi film that takes place in a fully realized world that helps to pose moral questions we can ask about our real world. Of course if you like your movies with a little less moral questioning and more people blowing up, District 9 is still the movie for you. It works great on both levels, either as a movie that gives you something to think about, or one that gives you a bunch of moments where you go "Oh shit, that was awesome."
For those that don't know the movie is about a broken down alien spaceship that comes to Earth. It is stranded here so we as humans have to figure out what to do with all the aliens on board. So we set up a camp for them in South Africa, that slowly turns into a slum. The parallels to South Africa's real life past are pretty obvious, but never really mentioned in the movie. Most of the human characters in the movie, forces tasked with moving the aliens to a new settlement, treat the aliens horribly. Though I feel that is probably realistic. The main character starts off sort of naive about the whole thing but after a key plot point begins to sympathize and work with the aliens. If anyone cares the aliens look like big grasshoppers, and they love cat food.
What amazed me most about District 9 was how real it felt. This is for two reason. The main being that it is mostly shot in a pseudo documentary style, like The Office, so you can feel how girtty and dirty the settings are. It also feels real because none of the actors are faces you would recognize, so they are the character, you aren't stopping to think "Hey Ben Affleck is good in this so far." I was probably most amazed that this special effects heavy, explostion laden, movie was made for only $30 million. It really makes me wonder how in the hell movies like Transformers cost $250 million to make. This is the debut movie from director Neil Blomkamp. If this is just his first attempt at directing I think it is safe to say we will be seeing much more awesome stuff from him down the road.
District 9 is one of the better sci fi movies to come in recent years. It was filmed on a small budget, by a first time director, starring a no name cast, but still manages to be top notch in everything it does. It looks great and feels real. Whether you like your sci fi to raise "What if..." questions or just wow you with what is on screen, it more than fits the bill.
4 out of 5 Stars
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Halloween (2007)
2007Horror
Rob Zombie
Over the past few weeks I have been seeing a lot of commercials for Halloween II, the sequel the Rob Zombie version of Halloween. And since that is coming out soon I figured I might as well finally watch the 2007 reimagining of the horror classic that introduced us to Michael Myers.
I had heard really mixed things about this movie, some people said they liked it, while others apparently flat out hated it. Personally, I enjoyed it, but I can see where both sides are coming from. Like the box said, this is a "reimagining" not a sequel. So technically it is not really tied down by what happened in previous Halloween movies. So there are some major differences between this and the original. The most major difference is the audiences connection with Michael Myers' "victims." In the original Jamie Lee Curtis is the main character. We connect with her and ride along with her while this maniac is trying to kill her. In the Zombie version, Michael Myers is the main character, but since he doesn't say a word after the first 30 minutes of the movie, he is more a force of nature than a real character. In many ways the movie is a case study on what it is to be a psychopathic killer. However I can see how some people may not like that since it offers no real answers to the character's actions at all.
Before seeing it I heard a few complaints about the way violence is used in this movie. To be honest I expected a lot worse than it was. I do believe that Zombie on a few occasions just shows excessive gore on the screen just for the sake of showing it. This really adds nothing to the movie at all, but I didn't find it distracting enough to actually bother me. Zombie has directed two other horror movies besides Halloween, but I have not seen them, so I can only judge him based on this so far. Technically, the movie looked great. It had a very nice, gritty washed out look that really helped set the mood.
When it comes to the acting, the standout role is from Malcolm McDowell who is playing the part made famous by Donald Pleasence as the psychiatrist who is the "expert" on Michael Myers. Of course when most of the cast gets killed shortly after they appear on screen, its really not hard to be the stand out role. I would be remissed (is that even the right word) if I did not mention Scout Taylor-Compton who plays Michael Myers little sister, all grown up (even though she does not know it). I need to mention her because she is freaking hot, in real life, and especially in this role with blonde hair and her nerdy glasses (before she gets covered in blood and stuff).
I had heard really mixed things about this movie, some people said they liked it, while others apparently flat out hated it. Personally, I enjoyed it, but I can see where both sides are coming from. Like the box said, this is a "reimagining" not a sequel. So technically it is not really tied down by what happened in previous Halloween movies. So there are some major differences between this and the original. The most major difference is the audiences connection with Michael Myers' "victims." In the original Jamie Lee Curtis is the main character. We connect with her and ride along with her while this maniac is trying to kill her. In the Zombie version, Michael Myers is the main character, but since he doesn't say a word after the first 30 minutes of the movie, he is more a force of nature than a real character. In many ways the movie is a case study on what it is to be a psychopathic killer. However I can see how some people may not like that since it offers no real answers to the character's actions at all.
Before seeing it I heard a few complaints about the way violence is used in this movie. To be honest I expected a lot worse than it was. I do believe that Zombie on a few occasions just shows excessive gore on the screen just for the sake of showing it. This really adds nothing to the movie at all, but I didn't find it distracting enough to actually bother me. Zombie has directed two other horror movies besides Halloween, but I have not seen them, so I can only judge him based on this so far. Technically, the movie looked great. It had a very nice, gritty washed out look that really helped set the mood.
When it comes to the acting, the standout role is from Malcolm McDowell who is playing the part made famous by Donald Pleasence as the psychiatrist who is the "expert" on Michael Myers. Of course when most of the cast gets killed shortly after they appear on screen, its really not hard to be the stand out role. I would be remissed (is that even the right word) if I did not mention Scout Taylor-Compton who plays Michael Myers little sister, all grown up (even though she does not know it). I need to mention her because she is freaking hot, in real life, and especially in this role with blonde hair and her nerdy glasses (before she gets covered in blood and stuff).
(in the middle, from Halloween)
I have no problem admitting that I now mainly want to see the sequel to see more of her, and her character when she finds out Micheal Myers, the maniac killing machine is in fact her brother.
Rob Zombie's reimagining of the classic Halloween is not as good as the original. So if you haven't seen that, you probably should. I mean you should for sure watch the original before watching this newer version. Though when it comes to slashers recently released, it is one of the better ones. For some reason a lot of people hate it, but I just think they went in with expectations of what they expected to see.
3 out of 5 Stars
Rob Zombie's reimagining of the classic Halloween is not as good as the original. So if you haven't seen that, you probably should. I mean you should for sure watch the original before watching this newer version. Though when it comes to slashers recently released, it is one of the better ones. For some reason a lot of people hate it, but I just think they went in with expectations of what they expected to see.
3 out of 5 Stars
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I went to the Warped Tour
I went to the Warped Tour when it was in Detroit on Friday. I ended up going by myself since I couldn't find anyone else to go with. That wasn't too bad becuase there really wasn't much time when I wasn't watching a band play.
Here is who I saw (in chrnological order)
whole sets:
Valencia
Hit the Lights
Bayside
Less than Jake
Underoath
Streetlight Manifesto
A Day to Remember
Saosin
partial sets:
Farwell
The Scurvies
Versaemerge
Ivoryline
All Time Low
Senses Fail
In this Moment
Rank of who was the best:
1. Streetlight Manifesto (this was so much fun, awesome)
2. Bayside
3. Saosin
4. Less Than Jake
5. Ivoryline (because there weren't many people there so I was right in front)
- i missed videotaping a guy hardcore dancing to a band with like 10 people watching, it kind of made my day
- the girl from versaemerge is a lot hotter than she looks in pictures
- the girl from in this moment is less hot than she looks in pictures
- a day to remember should have been on the main stage
- why do dumb girls wear flip flops to the warped tour?
- i kept getting stuck behind really annoying people
- I didn't get in any really crazy pits because I was afraid stuff would fall out of my pockets
- it made me sad there were so many people for all time low and devil wears prada (though I like both bands) than less than jake
- I caught about 10 seconds of brokencyde from afar which i recorded, which was more than enough
- i recorded about 5 or 6 songs from different band, but the recordings all suck
- having a Hurley stage and a Hurley.com stage can get confusing at first, same goes for having an ernie ball stage then also having huge ernie ball ads on a different stage
- by the end of the day my back was killing me, I could barely stand anymore
- now all I want to do is listen to the bands I saw when I was there
Here is who I saw (in chrnological order)
whole sets:
Valencia
Hit the Lights
Bayside
Less than Jake
Underoath
Streetlight Manifesto
A Day to Remember
Saosin
partial sets:
Farwell
The Scurvies
Versaemerge
Ivoryline
All Time Low
Senses Fail
In this Moment
Rank of who was the best:
1. Streetlight Manifesto (this was so much fun, awesome)
2. Bayside
3. Saosin
4. Less Than Jake
5. Ivoryline (because there weren't many people there so I was right in front)
- i missed videotaping a guy hardcore dancing to a band with like 10 people watching, it kind of made my day
- the girl from versaemerge is a lot hotter than she looks in pictures
- the girl from in this moment is less hot than she looks in pictures
- a day to remember should have been on the main stage
- why do dumb girls wear flip flops to the warped tour?
- i kept getting stuck behind really annoying people
- I didn't get in any really crazy pits because I was afraid stuff would fall out of my pockets
- it made me sad there were so many people for all time low and devil wears prada (though I like both bands) than less than jake
- I caught about 10 seconds of brokencyde from afar which i recorded, which was more than enough
- i recorded about 5 or 6 songs from different band, but the recordings all suck
- having a Hurley stage and a Hurley.com stage can get confusing at first, same goes for having an ernie ball stage then also having huge ernie ball ads on a different stage
- by the end of the day my back was killing me, I could barely stand anymore
- now all I want to do is listen to the bands I saw when I was there
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Don't Make Spontaneous Statements About Your Facial Hair
In my opinion one of my friends is spending way too much time with his girlfriend. For a physical representation of this I came up with an idea. The last time I saw him I told him I would not shave until the next time we hung out. Since I only see him every month or so, the next time I saw him he would go "Whoa you have a mustache I guess I haven't seen you in awhile."
Well this happened over a month ago. And since that time I have not shaved, I have trimmed some spots but kept the main areas of my facial hair untouched. I now realize that I haven't seen him in liked 5 week and I think he is going on vacation for a couple of weeks so I probably wouldn't see him anytime soon. So I need to break my promise and shave it all off. Its starting to feel really itchy sometimes and it's not a good look at all. I also need a hair cut but thats unrelated.
Well this happened over a month ago. And since that time I have not shaved, I have trimmed some spots but kept the main areas of my facial hair untouched. I now realize that I haven't seen him in liked 5 week and I think he is going on vacation for a couple of weeks so I probably wouldn't see him anytime soon. So I need to break my promise and shave it all off. Its starting to feel really itchy sometimes and it's not a good look at all. I also need a hair cut but thats unrelated.
Knowing (2008)
2008
Thriller
Nicholas Cage, Rose Byrne
Thriller
Nicholas Cage, Rose Byrne
In Knowing a time capsule is dug up at an elementary school. In the capsule there is a piece of paper covered in random numbers. As it turns out, they are not random as Nicholas Cage's character finds out, they tell the time place and death toll of major disasters from the time it was buried and written (1959) until the present day, and into the near future. When the characters figure this out they scramble to see what if anything they can do with this information to avoid what is coming, which may just be the end of the world.
I never really heard too much positive stuff about this movie. The only reason I rented it was I saw that one reviewer said the disasters shown in this movie look really good, and he was right. In Knowing they probably show the most realistic plane crash I have ever seen in a movie. Not just the impact of the plane on the ground but the aftermath. Flaming bodies and debris everywhere. The disasters in this movie are vey realistic. They do not tone it down. There is a lot of blood and body parts flying around on screen. It is gritty, realistic, exciting, and it all looks fantastic.
This movie stars Nicholas Cage. He somehow is considered a good actor (critically), while at the same time being horrible in a bunch of movies. I think he was perfect for this role. I mean he plays kind of a nervous professor which I think fit him well. Knowing was directed by Alex Proyas, director of the fantastic Dark City. If you haven't seen Dark City, check it out. With Knowing and Dark City under his belt (and iRobot but I haven't seen it) it is clear that he knows what he is doing with a movie. I already mentioned it, but the whole thing looked incredible. I can't wait to see the next movie he directs.
There is a great documentary about doomsday cults and apocalyptic beliefs on the DVD, so if you rent it, make sure to watch that too.
When I said I didn't hear too much positive stuff about this movie it was because most people said the ending sucked. Stuff like "it was okay until the ending." I do not agree. When you look at what is going on in the movie (parnormal things) and everything before it, the ending made perfect sense to me. In fact, I liked the ending.
I say ignore the negative you heard about this movie and rent it. Just be ready for an interesting sci fi thriller that is a little deeper than plane crashes and explosions (though those are probably my favorite parts).
3 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: During one disaster scene there is a shot of the hotel (and the specific room) I stayed at in New York City, blowing up.
I never really heard too much positive stuff about this movie. The only reason I rented it was I saw that one reviewer said the disasters shown in this movie look really good, and he was right. In Knowing they probably show the most realistic plane crash I have ever seen in a movie. Not just the impact of the plane on the ground but the aftermath. Flaming bodies and debris everywhere. The disasters in this movie are vey realistic. They do not tone it down. There is a lot of blood and body parts flying around on screen. It is gritty, realistic, exciting, and it all looks fantastic.
This movie stars Nicholas Cage. He somehow is considered a good actor (critically), while at the same time being horrible in a bunch of movies. I think he was perfect for this role. I mean he plays kind of a nervous professor which I think fit him well. Knowing was directed by Alex Proyas, director of the fantastic Dark City. If you haven't seen Dark City, check it out. With Knowing and Dark City under his belt (and iRobot but I haven't seen it) it is clear that he knows what he is doing with a movie. I already mentioned it, but the whole thing looked incredible. I can't wait to see the next movie he directs.
There is a great documentary about doomsday cults and apocalyptic beliefs on the DVD, so if you rent it, make sure to watch that too.
When I said I didn't hear too much positive stuff about this movie it was because most people said the ending sucked. Stuff like "it was okay until the ending." I do not agree. When you look at what is going on in the movie (parnormal things) and everything before it, the ending made perfect sense to me. In fact, I liked the ending.
I say ignore the negative you heard about this movie and rent it. Just be ready for an interesting sci fi thriller that is a little deeper than plane crashes and explosions (though those are probably my favorite parts).
3 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: During one disaster scene there is a shot of the hotel (and the specific room) I stayed at in New York City, blowing up.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Pineapple Express (2008)
2008
Comedy
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride
Comedy
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride
From Hot Rod we come to Pineapple Express. This is the next movie I am talking about after Hot Rod for 2 reasons: Danny McBride, and I took way too long to see it.
The premise follows Seth Rogen as a process server (gives people summons for court) who is a pot head. After buying some special new weed from his dealer, James Franco, he goes to serve someone with a summons. When he gets there though he witnesses a murder. And the chase is on. He and James Franco are on the run from the murderers because they know they have seen too much. That's the set up. They run into various characters along the way including Danny McBride's Red, Gary Cole, and"that black guy from the warehouse on the Office."
James Franco basically made the movie for me. His character is high and/or burnt out throughout the whole movie, and it's hilarious. He goes on these rambling run offs about random shit and easily gets distracted by anything goin on around him. Basically everything he said made me laugh. Which is sort of ironic because if I with somebody like him in real life I would probably be super annoyed.
Seth Rogen is of course the main character of the movie. He has some funny parts but for the most part plays the straight man for the all the ridiculous situations around him. Danny McBride isn't in much of the movie, but when he is on screen it's great. There is a scene at the end of the movie with three leads having a conversation which made me laugh the whole time it was going on.
Regardless of whether I got the point of across in the above writing or not, Pineapple Express is one of the funniest movies I have seen in well probably forever. Probably my favorite comedy since Superbad. I am so mad at myself for not watching it sooner, especially since my brother had a copy of it the whole time. Even though this was advertised as a pot comedy, you don't have to know anything about marijuana in order to enjoy it.
4 out of 5 Stars
The premise follows Seth Rogen as a process server (gives people summons for court) who is a pot head. After buying some special new weed from his dealer, James Franco, he goes to serve someone with a summons. When he gets there though he witnesses a murder. And the chase is on. He and James Franco are on the run from the murderers because they know they have seen too much. That's the set up. They run into various characters along the way including Danny McBride's Red, Gary Cole, and"that black guy from the warehouse on the Office."
James Franco basically made the movie for me. His character is high and/or burnt out throughout the whole movie, and it's hilarious. He goes on these rambling run offs about random shit and easily gets distracted by anything goin on around him. Basically everything he said made me laugh. Which is sort of ironic because if I with somebody like him in real life I would probably be super annoyed.
Seth Rogen is of course the main character of the movie. He has some funny parts but for the most part plays the straight man for the all the ridiculous situations around him. Danny McBride isn't in much of the movie, but when he is on screen it's great. There is a scene at the end of the movie with three leads having a conversation which made me laugh the whole time it was going on.
Regardless of whether I got the point of across in the above writing or not, Pineapple Express is one of the funniest movies I have seen in well probably forever. Probably my favorite comedy since Superbad. I am so mad at myself for not watching it sooner, especially since my brother had a copy of it the whole time. Even though this was advertised as a pot comedy, you don't have to know anything about marijuana in order to enjoy it.
4 out of 5 Stars
Hot Rod (2007)
2007
Comedy
Starring: Andy Samber, Danny McBride, Bill Hader and many more
"My name is Rod, and I like to party."
Comedy
Starring: Andy Samber, Danny McBride, Bill Hader and many more
"My name is Rod, and I like to party."
Recently I have watched a few movies that when they came out, people told me were "okay" or "had a few funny parts." Basically, nobody gave them rave reviews. One of these movies I put off watching until today was Hot Rod. And I am mad I put it off so long.
For those who don't know Hot Rod follows the exploits of Andy Samberg's character Rod. Who is an amateur stuntman, whose stunts usually end up failing. But he has to pull off a major stunt (jumping 15 buses) to raise $50,000 for what one of the characters calls "a conveniently priced surgery" to save his step dad's life. Of course he only wants to save his life so he can beat the crap out of him to hopefully earn his respect.
The first thing that struck me about this movie was the amount of note worthy actors in it. Basically every major character is somebody you recognize, and most likely found very funny, from another movie. I mean the cast is: Andy Samber, Bill Hader, Isla Fischer, Danny McBride, Ian McShane, Sissy Spacke, Will Arnet. That is quite the line up, for me at least. I should focus on Danny McBride because I didn't know he was in this movie before I watched it. Afer some of my recent viewing I have come to the conclusion that he is one of the funniest guys around. He makes me laugh in everything he has done. In Hot Rod he has what I think is the funniest scene in the movie, where he flips out for no reason.
I will admit that most of this movie is really stupid, but that doesn't matter, because it's funny. Its comedy is a mix of slap stick and one liners, from basically all major cast member. It occasionally lovingly mocks 80s movies, but only for short bursts because it is not a spoof or anything. Though the use of 80s music during montages is perfect for the feel of the movie. I am mad I put off watching this for so long. It kept me laughing throughout, which is all I really ask for
3.5 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: This movie was originally written for Will Ferrel
For those who don't know Hot Rod follows the exploits of Andy Samberg's character Rod. Who is an amateur stuntman, whose stunts usually end up failing. But he has to pull off a major stunt (jumping 15 buses) to raise $50,000 for what one of the characters calls "a conveniently priced surgery" to save his step dad's life. Of course he only wants to save his life so he can beat the crap out of him to hopefully earn his respect.
The first thing that struck me about this movie was the amount of note worthy actors in it. Basically every major character is somebody you recognize, and most likely found very funny, from another movie. I mean the cast is: Andy Samber, Bill Hader, Isla Fischer, Danny McBride, Ian McShane, Sissy Spacke, Will Arnet. That is quite the line up, for me at least. I should focus on Danny McBride because I didn't know he was in this movie before I watched it. Afer some of my recent viewing I have come to the conclusion that he is one of the funniest guys around. He makes me laugh in everything he has done. In Hot Rod he has what I think is the funniest scene in the movie, where he flips out for no reason.
I will admit that most of this movie is really stupid, but that doesn't matter, because it's funny. Its comedy is a mix of slap stick and one liners, from basically all major cast member. It occasionally lovingly mocks 80s movies, but only for short bursts because it is not a spoof or anything. Though the use of 80s music during montages is perfect for the feel of the movie. I am mad I put off watching this for so long. It kept me laughing throughout, which is all I really ask for
3.5 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: This movie was originally written for Will Ferrel
Thursday, July 23, 2009
My Top 11 (plus some) Albums of 2008
* I am only posting this because I already had it written up and figured I might as well post it here. I also added some myspace links for the lesser known acts if you want to check the bands out. My rankings may have changed since I made the list, but how it is now is fine. I am sure there are albums that I like from 2008 that I left off the list but thats okay (like I just added on the Demi Lovato album, it should probably be in the top 10 but I dont want to think about where). Onto the list...
Honorable Mention:
Motionless in White - When Love Met Destruction
The Crosstown Rivalry - Pull Down the Sky
Valencia - We All Need A Reason to Believe
T.I. - Paper Trails
Superchick - Rock What Ya Got
Lil Wayne - Carter III
Anberlin - New Surrender
Underoath - Lost In the Sound of Seperation
Sugarland - Love on the Inside
Runners Up:
16. Fireflight - Unbreakable
15. Driving East - The Future of the Free World
14. Fight Fair - Settle the Score (http://www.myspace.com/fightfair)
13. Jacks Mannequin - Glass Passenger
12. Demi Lovato - Don't Forget
11. Alestorm - Captain Morgan's Revenge - Alestorm is a metal band from Scotland. To be more specific, they are a pirate metal band. Which means all their songs are about being pirates and stuff related to being pirates. Its over the top, sort of ridiculous, but totally awesome. I love them. They had an EP come out this year too, but I dont think they both needed to be listed.
http://www.myspace.com/alestorm
10. Taylor Swift - Fearless - I love Taylor Swift and am not afraid to admit it. I expected this album to be #1, but was let down by it. Too many slow songs for my tastes, but no real bad songs. I am excited for her next effort, since she recently got dumped and that usually precedes quality music.
9. House of Heroes - The End is Not the End - Great rock album from a Christian band. Just listen to the song Codename:Raven, its good and like most other stuff you hear.
http://www.myspace.com/houseofheroes
8. Hit the Lights - Skip School, Start Fights - Great pop punk from my boys from Lima, OH. If you want pop punk, they should be in your first few choices. I am not sure if I like this more than their debut or not, but they are both good.
http://www.myspace.com/hitthelights
7. Less Than Jake - GNV FLA - If you don't know what to expect from a LTJ album by now, you are missing out. I have not seen another band keep up the quality after so many releases like LTJ does.
http://www.myspace.com/lessthanjake
6. Lady Antebellum - s/t - A great debut from this country trio. Just quality pop country. They remind me of Little Big Town (one of my favorites), but with less focus on vocal harmonys and more on excellent individual parts in songs that both males and females can relate to.
http://www.myspace.com/ladyantebellum
5. Shai Hulud - Misanthropy Pure - New singer, but SH still brings it. One of my all time favorite bands, though I can admit I like their other albums more. This is a great album, good imagery, good breakdowns. They invented metalcore and are the best at it.
http://www.myspace.com/profoundhatred
4. Addison Road - s/t - Another female fronted band. Just heartfealt light rock here. Just a lot of great songs you'll want to listen to again and again.
http://www.myspace.com/addisonroad
3. Hey Monday - Hold On Tight - They are basically Paramore, but better. The songs are catchy, the music is good, the singer has a good voice, and she is hot
http://www.myspace.com/heymonday
2. A Day Away - Here We Go Again - The best pop punk I have heard in years. I usually think debut albums have the most heart, and this reinforces that. For whatever reason many pop punk fans have not even heard of this band, which boggles my mind. If you want pop punk, check them out.
http://www.myspace.com/adayawayband
1. Krystal Meyers - Make Some Noise - Usually when an artist decides to drastically change their sound, I don't like it, but I love the change KM has made. She went from a very pop rock, almost Avril Lavigne vibe, to a euro pop dance club vibe, and pulled it off. I don't listed to that kind of music at all, but I love this album. Check out the songs Shine and Make Some Noise, they are my favorites.
http://www.myspace.com/krystalmeyers
Closing Thoughts:
The main thing this list shows, is that I have a hard time making a list of only 10 things. Every few minutes I kept remembering another album from this year that I liked. In all reality the number 1 and 2 spots could easily be switched and I wouldn't care. They are both albums I like a lot. I guess this year was a big year for female vocalists for me, taking almost have of the top 10 spots.
Now time to start listening to 2009 albums...
Honorable Mention:
Motionless in White - When Love Met Destruction
The Crosstown Rivalry - Pull Down the Sky
Valencia - We All Need A Reason to Believe
T.I. - Paper Trails
Superchick - Rock What Ya Got
Lil Wayne - Carter III
Anberlin - New Surrender
Underoath - Lost In the Sound of Seperation
Sugarland - Love on the Inside
Runners Up:
16. Fireflight - Unbreakable
15. Driving East - The Future of the Free World
14. Fight Fair - Settle the Score (http://www.myspace.com/fightfair)
13. Jacks Mannequin - Glass Passenger
12. Demi Lovato - Don't Forget
11. Alestorm - Captain Morgan's Revenge - Alestorm is a metal band from Scotland. To be more specific, they are a pirate metal band. Which means all their songs are about being pirates and stuff related to being pirates. Its over the top, sort of ridiculous, but totally awesome. I love them. They had an EP come out this year too, but I dont think they both needed to be listed.
http://www.myspace.com/alestorm
10. Taylor Swift - Fearless - I love Taylor Swift and am not afraid to admit it. I expected this album to be #1, but was let down by it. Too many slow songs for my tastes, but no real bad songs. I am excited for her next effort, since she recently got dumped and that usually precedes quality music.
9. House of Heroes - The End is Not the End - Great rock album from a Christian band. Just listen to the song Codename:Raven, its good and like most other stuff you hear.
http://www.myspace.com/houseofheroes
8. Hit the Lights - Skip School, Start Fights - Great pop punk from my boys from Lima, OH. If you want pop punk, they should be in your first few choices. I am not sure if I like this more than their debut or not, but they are both good.
http://www.myspace.com/hitthelights
7. Less Than Jake - GNV FLA - If you don't know what to expect from a LTJ album by now, you are missing out. I have not seen another band keep up the quality after so many releases like LTJ does.
http://www.myspace.com/lessthanjake
6. Lady Antebellum - s/t - A great debut from this country trio. Just quality pop country. They remind me of Little Big Town (one of my favorites), but with less focus on vocal harmonys and more on excellent individual parts in songs that both males and females can relate to.
http://www.myspace.com/ladyantebellum
5. Shai Hulud - Misanthropy Pure - New singer, but SH still brings it. One of my all time favorite bands, though I can admit I like their other albums more. This is a great album, good imagery, good breakdowns. They invented metalcore and are the best at it.
http://www.myspace.com/profoundhatred
4. Addison Road - s/t - Another female fronted band. Just heartfealt light rock here. Just a lot of great songs you'll want to listen to again and again.
http://www.myspace.com/addisonroad
3. Hey Monday - Hold On Tight - They are basically Paramore, but better. The songs are catchy, the music is good, the singer has a good voice, and she is hot
http://www.myspace.com/heymonday
2. A Day Away - Here We Go Again - The best pop punk I have heard in years. I usually think debut albums have the most heart, and this reinforces that. For whatever reason many pop punk fans have not even heard of this band, which boggles my mind. If you want pop punk, check them out.
http://www.myspace.com/adayawayband
1. Krystal Meyers - Make Some Noise - Usually when an artist decides to drastically change their sound, I don't like it, but I love the change KM has made. She went from a very pop rock, almost Avril Lavigne vibe, to a euro pop dance club vibe, and pulled it off. I don't listed to that kind of music at all, but I love this album. Check out the songs Shine and Make Some Noise, they are my favorites.
http://www.myspace.com/krystalmeyers
Closing Thoughts:
The main thing this list shows, is that I have a hard time making a list of only 10 things. Every few minutes I kept remembering another album from this year that I liked. In all reality the number 1 and 2 spots could easily be switched and I wouldn't care. They are both albums I like a lot. I guess this year was a big year for female vocalists for me, taking almost have of the top 10 spots.
Now time to start listening to 2009 albums...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I need to watch some newer movies
At most I usually am only interested in watching one movie that is released on DVD each week. Well lately not even that many have interested me. Lately all I have been watching is TV shows on DVD or anime. Well Watchmen finally came out and I added that to my queue so I will finally see that. Most of the TV shows I am watching are from HBO since it is one the few channels I do not get. They also take their time (take too long) to release stuff on DVD after it has aired.
What I've watched the last few weeks: Entourage, Eastbound and Down, Neon Genesis Evangelion
DVDs out Soon I want to see: Adventureland, I Love You Man, Flight of the Conchords Season 2, Watchmen
I also need to stop being lazy and write up some recent movies I have seen (Gran Torino, Surveillance) before I forget what I want to say about them.
What I've watched the last few weeks: Entourage, Eastbound and Down, Neon Genesis Evangelion
DVDs out Soon I want to see: Adventureland, I Love You Man, Flight of the Conchords Season 2, Watchmen
I also need to stop being lazy and write up some recent movies I have seen (Gran Torino, Surveillance) before I forget what I want to say about them.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Push (2009)
2009
Sci-Fi/Action
Chris Evans, Dakota Fanning, Camilla Belle
Similar to: X Men, Heroes, The 4400
I heard a lot of reviews comparing Push to Heroes, and even though I have never seen Heroes, it sounds like comparison is about right. In the movie a bunch of people have special powers, results of experiment done by the government. Well of course, there are good guys with powers, and bad guys with powers. Based on the previews and the name of the movie I expected everybody to have the same power. I expected them to all be throwing objects and people all around the screen using their mine, but thats not the case. There are a bunch of differnet power sets, each with their own cool name, "Wipers" "Sniffers"etc. "Pushers" seem to be the most powerful, they can make anyone believe anything as the truth just by looking at them. This power causes some problems though, because everytime a Pusher in on screen you never know whether what other people are doing is real, or if they are bein manipulated.
I heard a lot of people describe this movie as "the one where Dakota Fanning wears a skirt." And that is true, she wears a skirt the whole time. Not in this movie, but I am calling it, in like a year or so, she is going to be really hot. I think the only other movie I have seen Dakota Fanning in was War of the Worlds where she was the most annoying character in the history of film. So thankfully she is not that annoying in this movie. This movie also co stars Camilla Belle who I think is probably the hottest actress working today, even though I have never seen a movie with her in it before. Her acting isn't anything special in this movie, but then again this isn't really a good movie to showcase acting talent in.
Based on the trailer for this movie you would think that there is a lot of action. There really isn't though. However the bits (including a big scene at the end) where there is action are really welld done. There should have been more.
One of my favorite things about this movie was that it was set in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is probably the place I want to visit the most in the world. If anybody wants to go with me, let me know, it would be real bonus if you speak Cantonese by the way. I blame my love for Hong Kong on watching too many John Woo and Chow Yun Fat movies. Hong Kong is such a big and colorful city, only Tokyo comes close in comparison. It provides a great back drop for this or any story. I am about to post a link to a picture that shows what an awe inspring place Hong Kong can be WARNING THIS IS A GIANT PICTUE, so it will take a while to load, but it is totally worth it.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Hong_Kong_Skyline_Restitch_-_Dec_2007.jpg
The plot of Push starts off okay but gets really muddled down as it goes. All the various powers really just make the story confusing. When you have characters that can predict the future and others that can convince you that you are really on the other side instantly, its hard to know what is real or what is going on, or why. Half of the set up for the finale of the film is just setting up fake events to confuse the people who predict the future but all that does is waste time and probably confuse some people in the audience.
So what did I think of this movie? I really don't know. I can't tell if I liked it or not. There are some things I liked about it, but parts of the plot were stupid and distracting. I also predicted teh final scene with about an hour left in the movie, not to brag or anything. I guess there are worse ways to watch 2 hours watching a movie.
2 or 3 Stars... aka, I am still not sure
Similar to: X Men, Heroes, The 4400
I heard a lot of reviews comparing Push to Heroes, and even though I have never seen Heroes, it sounds like comparison is about right. In the movie a bunch of people have special powers, results of experiment done by the government. Well of course, there are good guys with powers, and bad guys with powers. Based on the previews and the name of the movie I expected everybody to have the same power. I expected them to all be throwing objects and people all around the screen using their mine, but thats not the case. There are a bunch of differnet power sets, each with their own cool name, "Wipers" "Sniffers"etc. "Pushers" seem to be the most powerful, they can make anyone believe anything as the truth just by looking at them. This power causes some problems though, because everytime a Pusher in on screen you never know whether what other people are doing is real, or if they are bein manipulated.
I heard a lot of people describe this movie as "the one where Dakota Fanning wears a skirt." And that is true, she wears a skirt the whole time. Not in this movie, but I am calling it, in like a year or so, she is going to be really hot. I think the only other movie I have seen Dakota Fanning in was War of the Worlds where she was the most annoying character in the history of film. So thankfully she is not that annoying in this movie. This movie also co stars Camilla Belle who I think is probably the hottest actress working today, even though I have never seen a movie with her in it before. Her acting isn't anything special in this movie, but then again this isn't really a good movie to showcase acting talent in.
Based on the trailer for this movie you would think that there is a lot of action. There really isn't though. However the bits (including a big scene at the end) where there is action are really welld done. There should have been more.One of my favorite things about this movie was that it was set in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is probably the place I want to visit the most in the world. If anybody wants to go with me, let me know, it would be real bonus if you speak Cantonese by the way. I blame my love for Hong Kong on watching too many John Woo and Chow Yun Fat movies. Hong Kong is such a big and colorful city, only Tokyo comes close in comparison. It provides a great back drop for this or any story. I am about to post a link to a picture that shows what an awe inspring place Hong Kong can be WARNING THIS IS A GIANT PICTUE, so it will take a while to load, but it is totally worth it.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Hong_Kong_Skyline_Restitch_-_Dec_2007.jpg
The plot of Push starts off okay but gets really muddled down as it goes. All the various powers really just make the story confusing. When you have characters that can predict the future and others that can convince you that you are really on the other side instantly, its hard to know what is real or what is going on, or why. Half of the set up for the finale of the film is just setting up fake events to confuse the people who predict the future but all that does is waste time and probably confuse some people in the audience.
So what did I think of this movie? I really don't know. I can't tell if I liked it or not. There are some things I liked about it, but parts of the plot were stupid and distracting. I also predicted teh final scene with about an hour left in the movie, not to brag or anything. I guess there are worse ways to watch 2 hours watching a movie.
2 or 3 Stars... aka, I am still not sure
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The Hangover (2009)
2009
Comedy
Zach Galifinakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms
Comedy
Zach Galifinakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms
I finally got around to seeing The Hangover. Everybody kept telling me it was hilarious and the funniest movies of the year. Well I agree that it was funny I don't see what all the fuss was about. People were talking about it like it was the funniest movie ever, but I don't see it. I mean don't get me wrong, I thought it was funny, and I liked it, but it wasn't mindblowing or anything. Basically all the funny parts came from Zach Galifinakis. Now I don't like stand up comedy (not sure why exactly) but out of the little I do like, ZG is one of them. So it was no real surprise he was hilarious. I am glad he was the star of this so other people find out how awesome he is. I just wish some of the other characters added to the funny quotient. I guess Ed Helms had some funny parts, but there were dwarfed by ZG.
High Points: baby masturbating, lone Wolf speech
You should all definitely see it. But don't get in expecting OMG FUNNIEST MOVIEZ EVER!!1!!!!
3.5 out of 5 Stars
Factoid: This was the fastest R rated movie to ever gross $200 mill domestically.
Also if anyone wants to watch a low quality streaming (but still watchable) bootleg of this on their computer, just let me know.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Let the Right One In (2008)
2008
Horror/Foreign
Horror/Foreign
I know some people know of a very popular vampire movie that was released last year. However most people are still unaware of the better vampire movie to come out last year. That better movie is Let the Right One In.
It is a vampire flick all the way from Sweden. It is about a young boy who is bullied at school. One night he meets an odd little girl in the playground behind his house. They become friends. Then as violent murders begin to happen all around town the boy realizes that his new little friend is in fact a vampire. Once that secret is out both characters begin to look out for their new friend in the challenges they face, even though they are from different worlds. It also is nice to see how their friendship affects all parts of their lives. Don't you think you would act a little different knowing your best friend was immortal killing machine. It all leads up to a final scene that will make you say "whoa, this is badass." There is one really odd scene ivolving one of the characters genitals that really cofused me until someone online explained it, so if you watch it and are confused by that, just ask me for the explination.
Let the Right One In Trailer
Just make sure to check out this underrated flick. Its on Netflix Instant and apparently its on youtube (in a few parts). Its got great mood, great characters, and tells a very interesting story.
3.5 out of 5 Stars
It is a vampire flick all the way from Sweden. It is about a young boy who is bullied at school. One night he meets an odd little girl in the playground behind his house. They become friends. Then as violent murders begin to happen all around town the boy realizes that his new little friend is in fact a vampire. Once that secret is out both characters begin to look out for their new friend in the challenges they face, even though they are from different worlds. It also is nice to see how their friendship affects all parts of their lives. Don't you think you would act a little different knowing your best friend was immortal killing machine. It all leads up to a final scene that will make you say "whoa, this is badass." There is one really odd scene ivolving one of the characters genitals that really cofused me until someone online explained it, so if you watch it and are confused by that, just ask me for the explination.
Let the Right One In Trailer
Just make sure to check out this underrated flick. Its on Netflix Instant and apparently its on youtube (in a few parts). Its got great mood, great characters, and tells a very interesting story.
3.5 out of 5 Stars
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Summer Heights High: Complete Series (2007)
TV Series
The show follows around 3 main characters:
Mr G - the flamboyant drama teacher
Ja'mie King - spoiled rich girl from a private school who is there for an exchange program
Jonah - trouble making kids who loves to breakdance (see video below)
The amazing thing about these 3 different characters is that they are all played by show creator and writer Chris Lilley. His range to play all 3 of these characters is amazing. The big plot points are the drama teacher putting on a play to memoralize a student who died by overdosing on extasy, Ja'mie trying to put on a formal dance, and Jonah writing dick-tations (basically just a penis with "tation" next to it, it makes no sense, but it doesn't matter) everywhere.
The whole series is only 8 episodes long. So it won't take a big committment to watch all of it. And if you rent it the first 7 of the episodes are on one disc.
Just make sure to check it out, because its hilarious.
4.5 out of 5 Stars
This is a work in progress
I am still figuring out how I should do the reviews on here. I think I might start adding a youtube clip (if I can find one) for each movie. I also might start put the year, genre, cast, etc. at the top of each one. I also might opt for a Good Bad Ugly section and just name off random things for each movie. Since Lenny and Shannon are the only two people that I know might actually look at this, your input is welcome. I will try and put up reviews to movies you might have actually seen here in the next day or so. Right now I am just going through what I most recently watched. None of these have been really funny yet which I hope to accomplish in the future, when the movie permits. So please comment away (here, and for every post you have anything to say about) and tell me what you would like to see.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The Night Before (1988)
What if I told you there was a movie with almost the same premise as The Hangover, made in the 80s, starring Keanu Reeves. Would you believe me? Well you should, because that movie is The Night Before.In this movie Keanu Reeves wakes up in the middle of the night in an alley and has to figure out what the hell happened to him during the night. Very quicly he remembers that he was taking the popular girl from school to the prom because she lost a bet and had to go with him. Then he quickly remembers that her dad told him that if anything happened to her he would kill him. Then he remembers that he might have sold the girl to a pimp.... And things spiral out of control from there. I think when all is said and done we meet like 3 or 4 different pimps.
I liked how this movie slowly pieced together what Keanu had actually done that night. It does a great job of flashing back and forth from what happened to showing Keanu tracing his steps. His night all started to go downhill when he drank tequilla and ginger ale at a bar in the "bad" side of town, so don't do that. Keanu isn't really known for his acting skills, but he was surprisingly funny and charming in this role. Maybe it was just easy for him to play someone who was out of it and had no idea what was going on...
There are laughs spread throughout. Nothing gut busting, but at least it kept a smile on my face for much of it. A lot of the jokes stem from the fact that they keep being in places with all black people, and they are white. You can see those kind of jokes coming from a mile away, but some of them are still funny. My one complaint about the plot is that the girl (played by Lori Laughlin, Becky from Full House) forgives all the terrible stuff that happened to her that night because Keanu "risked his life" to save her in the end. Uhh, what about the fact that all the problems she faces were all his fault to being with? Whatever, its a movie, I guess they need them to be together in the end for a happy ending.
I have not seen The Hangover yet, but I have a feeling that in the "forgot what happened last night, need to figure it out" genre, that is probably the superior movie to The Night Before. But if you are looking for a fun 80s movie you probably never heard of before, or you liked Keanu in the Bill and Ted movies, check out The Night Before.
3 out of 5 Stars
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