Paranormal Activity (2009)

Paranormal Activity
2009
Horror

Maybe you have heard of Paranormal Activity, if you haven't, it is about a girl being terrorized by a demon from beyond, and her boyfriend documenting their ordeal in the form of home movies.

To refresh your memory, take a look at the trailer they released when this movie first came out. Note the audience reactions.



You see that? The people in that trailer are completely losing their shit while watching like it's the scariest movie ever created. After finally watching it myself I just have to ask, what in the hell movie were they watching? Because not only is PA not as scary as that trailer makes it out to be, it is just not scary in any way at all. In fact all the moments that were meant to scare, and there are only like 4, just made me laugh. I mean one of the big scares is a big bang in the middle of the night. It might catch you off guard and make you jump a little, but there is nothing a scary about it. Another "important" scene features the lead actress getting out of bed then just standing still in her room for hours (thankfully they fast forward through it). Sounds intense, doesn't it? Of course the "scary" parts only make up about 10 minutes of the movie, so the other 75 are just straight up boring.
I don't have only negative things to say about it though. I will give it credit that it pulled off the "real found footage" look really well, just as well as The Blair Witch Project. The two lead actors also did a good job. I never really thought of them as actors, I just thought of them as the couple who lived in the house. Even though I found the climax to be funny and not scary it is really the only exciting scene in the whole movie.
I had my hopes up for Paranormal Activity, not many horror movies get so much positive buzz, but it was just a huge let down.

2 out of 5 Stars
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Early Prediction for my Top Album of 2010

And that album is....

The Morning Of - How I Fell In

How early of a prediction is it exactly? Well it is only May and more importantly, I haven't even heard the whole album yet. I have only heard a few songs but based off those and how much I like their previous work I really am convinced I am going to be completely obsessed with this album. It comes out this week so I will finally get to hear the whole thing and see if it actually lives up to the hype I placed upon it for myself. Here is one of the songs they released beforehand, I have watched this video probably 50 times in the few weeks it has been out. I just hope the rest of the album is half as good as this.



They also have a few other new songs (and some great old ones) on their Myspace at www.myspace.com/themorningof

I just can't freaking wait to hear this album. If you have never heard of this band before now please check them out and I hope you like them.
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Thunderball (1963

Thunderball
1962
Classic
Sean Connery

James Bond Movie #4

The Plot
SPECTRE is back. This time they are stealing nukes and holding the world hostage with them. It is up to 007 to find where the stolen nukes are before it's too late and Miami is wiped off the map.

Villain
SPECTRE henchman #2. Other than wearing an eye patch and feeding people that piss him off to sharks there really isn't much else to say about him.

Bond Girl
Claudine Auger as Dominique 'Domino' Derval. She is hot for sure, but she wasn't really on screen enough for me to care about what happened to her.

Final Thoughts
Overall I found Thunderball to pretty boring. I would say about 45 minutes of the movie are filmed underwater and all those scenes really drag the whole thing down. Since they are underwater there is no dialogue, and if you have never seen two guys fighthing underwater it is slow and boring. Add that to the fact that the villain was lame I would say this is the first Bond movie I didn't like. One thing I did enjoy about it was I finally figured out some of the stuff that was being spoofed in Austin Powers (guy named #2, head of SPECTRE acts like Dr. Evil, killing people with sharks, etc.). Now they remade this movie under a different name (Never Say Never Again) in 1983 so I plan on watching that version. Hopefully they take an interesting plot idea and actually make it exciting the second time around.

2 out of 5 Stars
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Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland
2009
Comedy/Horror
Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson

I think Zombieland might have had the most positive buzz on the internet out of all movies from 2009. So I was very excited when Netflix finally mailed it to me, after having it at the top of my queue for months. Zombieland is the latest in a recent surge of zombie movies (since the Dawn of the Dead remake came out it seems), but it is different than most since it is an actual big budget movie, and is actually good! In case you didn't know, it is a zombie comedy movie similar to Shaun of the Dead, so its not all zombies attacking and heads exploding the whole time. It stars Woody Harrelson as Tallhasse and Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus. No names in Zombieland, just where you are from. I was hoping Columbus would make it back to Columbus since I live here now I wanted to see it in a movie. But instead they meet up with two sisters, Witchita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), and join them on their journey to an amusement park. Woody Harrelson is definitely the highlight of the cast. His crazy zombie killing redneck character is the source of the best zombie kills and the best one liners in the movie. I really like Jesse Eisenberg so it is always good seeing him in anything. The movie does some cool things like putting Colubmus' "Rules To Live By" right into scenes to remind you why they are so important. There is a cameo from a famous actor that people made out to be one of the funniest things ever, and while it did result in a few good laughs it wasn't nearly as funny as people made it out to be. The final setting of the amusement park set up some good scenarios for both action and comedy. Overall Zombieland is a good fun zombie movie, though I wish it would have been a little funnier or a little more violent, but it did a good job of mixing the two ends of the spectrum. Though if I had to choose, I would say Shaun of the Dead did a better job.

3 out of 5 Stars
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Goldfinger (1964)

Goldfinger
1964
Adventure/Thriller
Sean Connery

James Bond Movie #3

The Plot
James Bond is on the tail of millionaire jeweler (and gold smuggler) Auric Goldfinger who plans to blow up Fort Knox, and the gold supply inside, making him the last great supply of gold in the world.

Villain
Gert Frobe as Goldfinger himself. A cocky millionaire who only cares about making even more money for himself. Goldfinger is a great villain because he is not physically intimidating (he is older and overweight), but because of his intellect and his resources. I also can't forget Oddjod, Goldfinger's Korean man servant, who was silent and intimidating in Goldfinger (throwing his hat as a weapon), but eventually became the most annoying character for multiplayer for Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64.

Bond Girl
Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore. Even if she is not the best Bond Girl ever, she for sure has the most memorable name. She is attractive but I didn't really find her to be anything special. Her character's actions end up being for more interesting than just her physical appearance.

Final Thoughts
The thing I liked most about Goldfinger was the plan to destroy Fort Knox. Even though it is impossible to do, the villain's motivation for doing it makes total sense. This is also the first Bond movie where I really noticed how many chicks James Bond nails. Spoilers: it is a lot. Features James Bond in a sweet Aston Martin for the first time. With what is being set up the whole time I actually expected a little more action in the movie. There is a decent action sequence at the end but nothing special. I hear a lot of fans say this is their favorite Bond movie, it was not mine, but I did enjoy it.

3 out of 5 Stars
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From Russia With Love (1963)

From Russia With Love
1963
Spy Thriller
Sean Conncer

James Bond Movie #2

The Plot
A Russian government employee offers to smuggle a Russian decoding machine out of Instanbul and give it to the British/US. Bond goes to help her with taking the device out of the Russian consolate and getting it out of the country. But there must be a catch right? Of course there is. SPECTRE has tricked her into stealing the device so they themselves can steal it when it is out in the open, then sell it back to the Russians. They also want to kill Bond for what he did to them in the first movie,Dr. No.

Villain
No single "evil" villain here. Just a few SPECTRE henchmen. I believe the one female villain was the basis for the famel villain in the Austic Powers movies. The guy Bond has to deal with later in the film sort of feels like the SPECTRE version of Bond. Cool, calm, and not somebody I would want to deal with.

Bond Girl
Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romanova. A blonde who looks hot in some scenese, and just okay in others. A very classic beauty (well this is a classic movie so I guess thats why), sort of reminds me of Grace Kelly a little (but not as beautiful). I approve. Even if she was a commie. Interesting note about her role in From Russia With Love was that in real life she was an Italian actress who was playing a Russian in the movie but her dialogue in it was actually dubbed over by a British actress. Anyways, onto a picture of her.

Final Thoughts
I really liked it. I loved the whole mood of it. The setting of Instanbul was different and interesting. I liked that the plan wasn't over the top or ridiculous, it was believable and realistic. I think that is the main reason this one is so appealing. The second half of the movie takes place on a train, but that only heightens the suspense towards the end. With Bond being closed in tight with his enemy, hurtline toward the final destination. Critically this is still considered the best Bond flick by many, and I have no problem with that. It still holds up as a great espionage filled spy thriller and can be a great introduction to the James Bond universe.

3.5 out of 5 Stars
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The Collector (2009)

The Collector
2009
Horror
Josh Stewart

The Collector is a rare movie in that I wanted to see it based almost solely on its TV spots (I think its the music they used). The trailer might not impress you, but it drew me in, here it is.



Anyways, the movie is about a guy who breaks in a house to rob it, but it turns out somebody much worse has already broken in. Somebody has taken the family hostage and rigged the house with a series of gruesome traps meant to torture and mame anyone trying to escape the house. So it is up to the guy who came to rob the house to save the family and stop the madman inside.

The movie started out as a prequel to the Saw series and retains several elemtns that make it very similar in many ways (elaborate traps, seeing how much pain someone will go through to survive/save someone). Well I liked the Collector less than Saw but much more than Saw II (the only Saw movies I have seen). I feel like I liked The Collector in spite of itself. With all the awful traps set up and the madman himself there is a lot of graphic suffering that goes on during the movie. This is definately not for the weak of heart. I hated all the "torture porn" type scenes (because I hate that kind of horror movie). But the whole set up drew me in enough that I was very into it almost the whole time. There is barely any dialogue in the whole movie. So being in the moment and imagining you stuck in the protagonists shoes inside the house is where all the enjoyment really comes from. The only part I really hated (other than the torture scenes themselves) was the ending, I feel like it only ended that way to set up a possible sequel, not because it was the best possible ending, and I totally predicted it about 30 minutes into the movie. Another plus is like so many horror movies there is a random teen sex/nudity scene and the girl has an awesome rack, so keep an eye out for that.

One thing I found really interesting and a little bizarre was the "alternate ending." There is an alternate ending on the DVD, but it is the oddest alternate ending I have ever seen from a movie. The alternate ending is just an alternate scene from about an hour into the movie, in which the main character acts completely out of character (does something he does the exact opposite of the whole movie) for no seemingly reason at all. So I guess if they would have went with the "alternate" ending the movie would have only been an hour long? And everybody would have been like "What?" I really want to ask the director how that could have possible been an alternate ending, because it couldn't have.

The Collector is not for the weak of heart, but if you want a newer horror movie to check out you could do much worse. Just watch it and imagine it is you stuck in the house going up against "The Collector" himself.

3 out of 5 Stars
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