Thunderball (1963

Thunderball
1962
Classic
Sean Connery

James Bond Movie #4

The Plot
SPECTRE is back. This time they are stealing nukes and holding the world hostage with them. It is up to 007 to find where the stolen nukes are before it's too late and Miami is wiped off the map.

Villain
SPECTRE henchman #2. Other than wearing an eye patch and feeding people that piss him off to sharks there really isn't much else to say about him.

Bond Girl
Claudine Auger as Dominique 'Domino' Derval. She is hot for sure, but she wasn't really on screen enough for me to care about what happened to her.

Final Thoughts
Overall I found Thunderball to pretty boring. I would say about 45 minutes of the movie are filmed underwater and all those scenes really drag the whole thing down. Since they are underwater there is no dialogue, and if you have never seen two guys fighthing underwater it is slow and boring. Add that to the fact that the villain was lame I would say this is the first Bond movie I didn't like. One thing I did enjoy about it was I finally figured out some of the stuff that was being spoofed in Austin Powers (guy named #2, head of SPECTRE acts like Dr. Evil, killing people with sharks, etc.). Now they remade this movie under a different name (Never Say Never Again) in 1983 so I plan on watching that version. Hopefully they take an interesting plot idea and actually make it exciting the second time around.

2 out of 5 Stars
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Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland
2009
Comedy/Horror
Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson

I think Zombieland might have had the most positive buzz on the internet out of all movies from 2009. So I was very excited when Netflix finally mailed it to me, after having it at the top of my queue for months. Zombieland is the latest in a recent surge of zombie movies (since the Dawn of the Dead remake came out it seems), but it is different than most since it is an actual big budget movie, and is actually good! In case you didn't know, it is a zombie comedy movie similar to Shaun of the Dead, so its not all zombies attacking and heads exploding the whole time. It stars Woody Harrelson as Tallhasse and Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus. No names in Zombieland, just where you are from. I was hoping Columbus would make it back to Columbus since I live here now I wanted to see it in a movie. But instead they meet up with two sisters, Witchita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), and join them on their journey to an amusement park. Woody Harrelson is definitely the highlight of the cast. His crazy zombie killing redneck character is the source of the best zombie kills and the best one liners in the movie. I really like Jesse Eisenberg so it is always good seeing him in anything. The movie does some cool things like putting Colubmus' "Rules To Live By" right into scenes to remind you why they are so important. There is a cameo from a famous actor that people made out to be one of the funniest things ever, and while it did result in a few good laughs it wasn't nearly as funny as people made it out to be. The final setting of the amusement park set up some good scenarios for both action and comedy. Overall Zombieland is a good fun zombie movie, though I wish it would have been a little funnier or a little more violent, but it did a good job of mixing the two ends of the spectrum. Though if I had to choose, I would say Shaun of the Dead did a better job.

3 out of 5 Stars
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Goldfinger (1964)

Goldfinger
1964
Adventure/Thriller
Sean Connery

James Bond Movie #3

The Plot
James Bond is on the tail of millionaire jeweler (and gold smuggler) Auric Goldfinger who plans to blow up Fort Knox, and the gold supply inside, making him the last great supply of gold in the world.

Villain
Gert Frobe as Goldfinger himself. A cocky millionaire who only cares about making even more money for himself. Goldfinger is a great villain because he is not physically intimidating (he is older and overweight), but because of his intellect and his resources. I also can't forget Oddjod, Goldfinger's Korean man servant, who was silent and intimidating in Goldfinger (throwing his hat as a weapon), but eventually became the most annoying character for multiplayer for Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64.

Bond Girl
Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore. Even if she is not the best Bond Girl ever, she for sure has the most memorable name. She is attractive but I didn't really find her to be anything special. Her character's actions end up being for more interesting than just her physical appearance.

Final Thoughts
The thing I liked most about Goldfinger was the plan to destroy Fort Knox. Even though it is impossible to do, the villain's motivation for doing it makes total sense. This is also the first Bond movie where I really noticed how many chicks James Bond nails. Spoilers: it is a lot. Features James Bond in a sweet Aston Martin for the first time. With what is being set up the whole time I actually expected a little more action in the movie. There is a decent action sequence at the end but nothing special. I hear a lot of fans say this is their favorite Bond movie, it was not mine, but I did enjoy it.

3 out of 5 Stars
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From Russia With Love (1963)

From Russia With Love
1963
Spy Thriller
Sean Conncer

James Bond Movie #2

The Plot
A Russian government employee offers to smuggle a Russian decoding machine out of Instanbul and give it to the British/US. Bond goes to help her with taking the device out of the Russian consolate and getting it out of the country. But there must be a catch right? Of course there is. SPECTRE has tricked her into stealing the device so they themselves can steal it when it is out in the open, then sell it back to the Russians. They also want to kill Bond for what he did to them in the first movie,Dr. No.

Villain
No single "evil" villain here. Just a few SPECTRE henchmen. I believe the one female villain was the basis for the famel villain in the Austic Powers movies. The guy Bond has to deal with later in the film sort of feels like the SPECTRE version of Bond. Cool, calm, and not somebody I would want to deal with.

Bond Girl
Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romanova. A blonde who looks hot in some scenese, and just okay in others. A very classic beauty (well this is a classic movie so I guess thats why), sort of reminds me of Grace Kelly a little (but not as beautiful). I approve. Even if she was a commie. Interesting note about her role in From Russia With Love was that in real life she was an Italian actress who was playing a Russian in the movie but her dialogue in it was actually dubbed over by a British actress. Anyways, onto a picture of her.

Final Thoughts
I really liked it. I loved the whole mood of it. The setting of Instanbul was different and interesting. I liked that the plan wasn't over the top or ridiculous, it was believable and realistic. I think that is the main reason this one is so appealing. The second half of the movie takes place on a train, but that only heightens the suspense towards the end. With Bond being closed in tight with his enemy, hurtline toward the final destination. Critically this is still considered the best Bond flick by many, and I have no problem with that. It still holds up as a great espionage filled spy thriller and can be a great introduction to the James Bond universe.

3.5 out of 5 Stars
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The Collector (2009)

The Collector
2009
Horror
Josh Stewart

The Collector is a rare movie in that I wanted to see it based almost solely on its TV spots (I think its the music they used). The trailer might not impress you, but it drew me in, here it is.



Anyways, the movie is about a guy who breaks in a house to rob it, but it turns out somebody much worse has already broken in. Somebody has taken the family hostage and rigged the house with a series of gruesome traps meant to torture and mame anyone trying to escape the house. So it is up to the guy who came to rob the house to save the family and stop the madman inside.

The movie started out as a prequel to the Saw series and retains several elemtns that make it very similar in many ways (elaborate traps, seeing how much pain someone will go through to survive/save someone). Well I liked the Collector less than Saw but much more than Saw II (the only Saw movies I have seen). I feel like I liked The Collector in spite of itself. With all the awful traps set up and the madman himself there is a lot of graphic suffering that goes on during the movie. This is definately not for the weak of heart. I hated all the "torture porn" type scenes (because I hate that kind of horror movie). But the whole set up drew me in enough that I was very into it almost the whole time. There is barely any dialogue in the whole movie. So being in the moment and imagining you stuck in the protagonists shoes inside the house is where all the enjoyment really comes from. The only part I really hated (other than the torture scenes themselves) was the ending, I feel like it only ended that way to set up a possible sequel, not because it was the best possible ending, and I totally predicted it about 30 minutes into the movie. Another plus is like so many horror movies there is a random teen sex/nudity scene and the girl has an awesome rack, so keep an eye out for that.

One thing I found really interesting and a little bizarre was the "alternate ending." There is an alternate ending on the DVD, but it is the oddest alternate ending I have ever seen from a movie. The alternate ending is just an alternate scene from about an hour into the movie, in which the main character acts completely out of character (does something he does the exact opposite of the whole movie) for no seemingly reason at all. So I guess if they would have went with the "alternate" ending the movie would have only been an hour long? And everybody would have been like "What?" I really want to ask the director how that could have possible been an alternate ending, because it couldn't have.

The Collector is not for the weak of heart, but if you want a newer horror movie to check out you could do much worse. Just watch it and imagine it is you stuck in the house going up against "The Collector" himself.

3 out of 5 Stars
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James Bond Movies

The James Bond franchise has been going strong for over 40 years, yet for whatever reason I had neglected most of the movies. Well not anymore. Over the next few months I plan on watching every James Bond movie there is, in the order that they were released. So expect to see a lot of Bond movies pop on here. Before I started this Bond-a-thon I had only seen 3 of them (Goldeneye, Casino Royale, and Quantum of Solace), but so far I have watched the first 3 and have the 4th one sitting next to me.

At this point I would rate the ones I have seen accordingly (from best to worst):

Goldeneye (might stay my favorite the whole time, I love Goldeneye)
From Russia With Love
Quantum of Solace
Goldfinger (many people consider it the best one, I liked it, didn't love it)
Dr. No
Casino Royale (a ton of people loved it, I didn't like it at all, but I just taped it on my DVR and will watch it again before I am done)

Should be a fun time watching them all. I think it will be a cool little accomplishment to say I have watched every single James Bond movie.

So how many have you seen? Which is your favorite?
Let me know in the comments.
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Armored (2009)

Armored
2009
Action
Laurence Fishburn, Matt Dillon, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich

Armored is about a team of armored car drivers who plan on stealing the money from the cars they are supposed to protect. Now with a heist movie the thing that usually draws me in is that the criminals have an ingenious plan. This is definitely not the case with the plan in Armored. The plan they come up with is one of the worst heist plans I have ever heard in my life. Their plan is to hide the money then just say they were robbed. That's it. It is like something a five year old came up with. If that really happened the police would figure it out in about a day. One of the characters says "the police will be all over us, but only at first" so stupid. Thankfully for the movie's sake the plan does not go according to schedule so they are forced to deal with new circumstances as they happen. And since they aren't that smart to begin with (based on their origianl plan) they don't really adpat that well. All the performances were quality. I don't know how they managed to get so many recognizable actors in this movie when they all only really play supporting roles, but it benefits the film greatly. I mean this isn't exactly Oscar material, but it is always nice when actors still do good work in a movie like this. The last 30 minutes or so were very exciting because you don't really know what is going to happen and how all the characters will deal with the twists happening around them. Armored isn't a great movie, there are much better movies about heists you could check out, but its got enough good stuff going for it (like the cast), that it is worth checking out.

3 out of 5 Stars
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Black Dynamite (2009)

Black Dynamite
2009
Comedy
Michael Jai White

DYNOMITE!

Black Dynamite is awesome, it is as simple as that. Even though it got a lot of positive reviews I avoided it at first because I didn't think it's area of humor would connect with me. Black Dynamite is a spoof of 1970s blacksploitation movies like Shaft, where black people battle the man and say the word "jive" a lot. I have never seen any of the movies BD is spoofing but it really didn't ruin my enjoyment of it at all. I probably would have found a few more subtle references funny but thats probably it. Because most of the humor is BD can apply to everyone since a lot of it consists of sight gags, funny dialogue, and over the top characters. Black Dynamite is played by Michael Jai White. He does a great job, always playing the part dead serious regardless of the ridiculousness going on around him. There are so many one liners and funny scenes that I keep wanting to use or talk about but can't since no one else I know has seen it yet. Hopefully that changes soon though, because I have a copy and will make people watch it at the first possible opportunity. I mean the movie ends with a nunchuck fight against President Richard Nixon, how can't a movie like that be great?

Black Dynamite Trailer



4 out 5 Stars
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Battle of the Warriors (2006)

Battle of the Warriors
2006
Foreign/Action
Andy Lau

Who is up for some historical epic Chinese action? I know I am. Of course Red Cliff is my most anticipated movie in that area, but before I watched that I decided to check out The Battle of the Warriors. In the movie Andy Lau plays Ge Li a man recruited by a small village to help protect it from a massive army preparing to destroy it. For those who don't know, Andy Lau is basically the Chinese George Clooney. I enjoy his acting so the fact that he was the star played a big part in me checking it out. As expected there are sweeping shots full of hundreds of Chinese soldiers and beautiful landscapes. Even though one side is a massive army the movie does not choose to focus solely on huge battle scenes. It deals quite a bit with the strategies Ge Li uses to defeat a superior army. This makes sense since the original name of the comic book the movie is based off of is The Battle of the Wits. They probably should have just kept that title since Battle of the Warriors is probably the most generic sounding movie title ever. Some of the plans he comes up are really impressive. He seems to know what the enemy is going to do before it actually happens, and how to best defend against it. The movie also deals with how the leaders of the village react when an outsider suddenly gains great support from the local population. I probably would have preferred a few more action set pieces, but this movie wasn't going for that sort of feel. A few of the supporting characters just aren't interesting and seem to slow up the whole show when they appear on screen. It is a minor complaint but there are several scenes where they use CGI special effects and a few of those look really awful. Andy Lau delivers a fine performance, living up to my expectations. This isn't the best historical Chinese epic I have seen, but it still a very solid and entertaining flick.

3 out of 5 Stars
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